Guys, Keep Doing Your Thing

Guys, Keep Doing Your Thing

Awhile ago some guys here asked me to write a Take about the topic of females hating guys for stating their opinions about women on whatever the subject, and I guess I’ve finally gotten around to it. In the past when I was on other sites I even had some women in my circles tell me as well that I should write about this problem. They would angrily express to me in private messages that they were sick and tired of their own gender hating men for saying something about women while women could say what they want and it was okay.

Are guys attacking females when they say something about us? No doubt some are, some times. But we know that women are often more respected when they do than vice versa, and even some guys will agree with them. So I’ve taken some time to finally write this, and hope that it helps you stay real and keep doing what you do.

“Misogyny” is a scare tactic...

When I was young and new to social media and would say what I think about women or what I disagreed with, I could be very easily afraid of the backlash and afraid of everyone thinking I hated women. I actually would get very paranoid about it and be afraid to post anything again, especially when some females had nothing better to do than literally comb through all my questions, comments, or posts just to bully me with accusations of “misogyny.” It would make coming online a frightening thing for me.

But eventually after enough experience with it, I just stopped caring. At some point it just no longer mattered to me anymore. I realized that it’s a very antiquated and very overused woman’s scare tactic - and it is mostly women who do this although some misguided males also do it - that’s meant to frighten you out of saying what you think, while these same women can babble on with their generalizations and criticism of guys. They want to shut you up so they can be heard.

It’s also a well-known fact that when females write or talk about males in the same way that males might talk about females, no one calls it hatred of men or says she has issues, etc. The only people who do are some males that refer to it as misandry, but nobody takes it nearly as seriously as they do with “misogyny.”

Realize how the attacks are weakness...

Once you recognize what the strategy is, you know how to handle it better. In the same way that I love being blocked, I actually now embrace it when females say I’m hating their gender, “have issues,” “had a bad experience,” blah blah blah. Why do I love it? Because they’re saying it out of anger. In their minds it’s their best shot. Something I said really bothered them and while they think they’re showing strength and power by criticizing a male they are actually showing weakness out of being so flustered by it. And this pleases me. And the more they come in waves, the more I enjoy it. Numbers can sometimes show weakness, not strength.

And I love the way I get the ones who read one or two posts I make about females, and suddenly it’s “all you ever post about,” having obviously never read any of my other material that has even criticized guys at times, or has nothing to do with genders at all. And even if I am writing about women, it is what it is. That may be what is on my mind at a particular moment, and maybe for some time, so I’m gonna talk about it. Especially if I'm trying to help guys out or inform them.

And honestly, when all the responses I may get are just the same overdone “you’re angry/bitter” “you hate women” lobs I actually don’t even finish reading them a lot of the time. I will just pass over them until I can find an actual intelligent response, even if it is in disagreement with me and I disagree with them, at least that person still has something real to say to me. Nobody cares about reading a bunch of tired, long-winded essay opinions about how you’re angry at women or “had a bad experience” except the people who think the same things. It offers no mind meat for me to chew on. No solutions. And no realism.

A male opinion is not hatred of women…

Just because you don’t agree with women, or even see where their gender is wrong and has its own shit, doesn’t make you a woman-hater (God, I even feel stupid saying it because it’s so incredibly overused). We all are aware that women can make any kind of comments about men and few say she has issues with men or hates them. In fact it’s the opposite: people tend to listen to a woman and think she’s right just because she’s a woman. People can sometimes be caught in a dazzle where they think a woman is the image of deep wisdom, particular experience, or great spiritual perspective, so think what she says is right. Even if it’s not. But male opinion tends to intimidate people a little more, especially women. Why? Because women tend to be phobic of hearing anything from men about their gender, so their best response is to say it’s some kind of hate towards females.

Another reason is because they often hate to think that men might actually be right and do have some significant insight on women in how they think or behave, things that females themselves may or may not even recognize. And that’s what upsets them. They hate it if a man can see things about their gender because as females they like thinking they’re the ones with insight on everyone else. So then a man’s experience, opinion, or even valid understanding and ability to perceive becomes “sexism,” or even, “Men are the same way,” or the tired “Not ALL women are…” It’s a tactical way of trying to minimize male perspective or experience, to completely discount it as “anger,” “bitterness,” and an injury towards women so they don’t have to take it seriously or see any truth in it, and they don’t want anyone else to either.

Do guys have sexist opinions and ideas sometimes? Certainly. But not everything you say or think about women is sexist just because you’re a guy saying it and just because it’s not pretty and politically correct to say it.

Anger is an emotion...

And honestly? Even if some guy is angry at women or bitter from some kind of unfavorable experience with them, that’s life. Anger and bitterness is a human emotion, and at some point in all people’s lives they’re going to be bitter and angry towards somebody for something for some time. And that’s okay. You just work it out. And even if he is angry, that doesn't necessarily make him wrong for something he says about women, nor is he necessarily wrong for how he feels either.

When I was young I could be angry at females easily, but now I’m a grown man and that feeling doesn’t come very often anymore. There are certainly times where I can be annoyed by women, but mostly I just shake my head and think “What a shame” at something they do or how they act or what they might say that I think is stupid, ignorant, or ridiculous. Nothing surprises me anymore, nor do I have any angelic expectations from women. They have flaws and failures too, so I don’t get angry very often anymore.

Also, women are not being honest with their own selves on this issue. Many pretend that it’s men who are mostly angry at the opposite sex, when - if anything - it’s women who can be the most bitter and consumed with their own contempt for men, whether it’s because they were “scorned” in a relationship by a guy, fucked and dumped, or just angry at men for social “double standards.”

More females than we know actually agree with men but are afraid to be open…

In real life, you have a lot of your average women who are actually not offended all that much by what men might say or think about them. In fact quite a few of them even do agree with men, but some are not going to be public about it because they fear how other women will look at them. Even in my real life I can have discussions with women where we talk about both men and women and neither of us are offended by stuff we say. It is what it is. It’s never a battle of the sexes thing, just your regular casual discussion about the life of men and women.

Years back when I would put up certain gender posts that rocked the sites I was on, I would have some women actually message me in private saying they agreed with me but didn’t want to say that out loud. Women care very much about how they will look to other women. They want to remain in the group in the open because of their follower habit, but when they deviate from the group on a particular issue they fear scrutiny and ridicule. A lot more women than a lot of us know are not disagreeing with guys on everything in how they see things or what they know.

Apologizing is a mistake…

Once years ago on Experience Project (now resurrected as ‘Similar Worlds’) I made the mistake of putting up a post explaining myself for things I said about women, and saying how I didn’t hate them. This was due to all the females who kept hounding me, giving me anxiety, and wanting me to give in to their attacks. And foolishly I did. However, I was surprised to see some women come out and actually support me on my post, telling me I didn’t need to apologize for anything and to keep being me. I really took that to heart.

When you apologize and explain yourself, you give in to their strategy. It means they got to you, and what they want is for guys to be sorry they said anything. And you don’t need to be. These chicks are all over the web generalizing men, slamming them for this and that, getting voted up, and no one is policing them nor are they apologizing, and you don’t have to either.

So, guys, keep saying what you want…

Are there men out there who really do hate women? Sure. But sincerely hating women for being women is not that common. Are men always right? No. Of course not. But we are a lot more than women would rather recognize or admit, and you don’t have to let them try to shut you up.

If you guys have seen me and my posts over the last year or so, then you know by now that I am very real about stuff I say, whether it’s about women or anything else. I don’t front. I don’t bullshit. I don’t hide from people or go Anon. I don’t run when the criticism comes in. I face my battles and confront who I choose, and some others I ignore. I say what I feel or what I’m thinking about, and I don’t care if anybody sees me or if anybody blocks me or removes me from their circle either. And you need to be the same. Keep being real. You’re always going to have a woman out there - and even a “male” - criticize something you say that’s gender related, have a comeback she thinks is clever, or try to prove you wrong with a feministic argument, but you don’t have to care. Someone will always fight you on it, so let it be.

Are all of your points going to be right? Not all the time, but your main point is your main point, and if you think it through correctly and write about it sincerely, people will get that. And if they don’t it’s because they don’t want to. And all the other noise, criticism, and attacks? Just let it be.


ManOnFire is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I remember when I was a kid I was always told to never argue with a girl because they're "always right". I remember one time when I was younger, I had a female friend over and her and I were disagreeing about something and, after she left, my mom and dad flipped out on me.

    I called bullshit and ignored them lol.


Join the discussion

What Girls Said 4

  • Women do have more freedom to criticize the opposite gender than men do. People are quicker to point the sexism finger at men than they are at women. And that's a problem that we need to work on. I try to point out misandry when I see it, and I try not to fall into the trap of blaming all men for the wrongdoings of one or a few.

    But nobody likes to see stereotypes or generalizations about their gender. Nobody likes to be judged or have assumptions made about them based on what's between their legs- and that is in fact sexism. Acting prejudiced towards an individual or group based on their gender IS sexism. I don't know exactly what types of comments you're talking about here, because I didn't see any examples, but some of the stuff that goes down on this site definitely is sexism- of both varieties. The real issue here is not the fact that women don't like to see hurtful comments about their gender. The real issue is that men don't have that same freedom to complain. NOBODY should be making hurtful generalizations about the opposite gender, and EVERYONE should have the right to complain when they see those types of comments.

    • "Acting prejudiced towards an individual or group based on their gender IS sexism."
      - Right. But as I said, it isn't necessarily prejudice or misogyny just because you say what you think about women.

      Also, generalizations are not always wrong. It is what it is. For me, I'm not bothered by women generalizing men. I'm more concerned about if they can handle it when someone generalizes them. And that is what they don't like and CAN'T handle.

    • Generalizations are always wrong about a certain part of the group. Always. That's why they are generalizations, and that's why they are frustrating.

  • By all means, keep doing your thing. I would never try to silence anyone... and I don't think most other women would either (except for rad-fems, but I'm actually yet to encounter any of those on here).
    But you have to remember other people are also free to express THEIR opinions on your opinions, and doing so doesn't necessarily make them "angry." You can't expect to make provocative posts and not get some backlash. If I were to make a MyTake listing what I thought was wrong with men, I would definitely expect some angry men and some men simply expressing disagreement. And if I did this repeatedly, I would expect to be accused of misandry (whether true or not) at some point.
    So yeah, I get your point. And I do respect you for being upfront. But, most of your claims regarding women are unsubstantiated or unable to be substantiated, and are therefore just your opinion or anecdotal evidence. So it should be no surprise that you will get some unsubstantiated, emotional accusations in response. You're calling women angry/bitter for calling you angry/bitter... when really everyone is just expressing subjective opinions. And it's my opinion that you're bitter, but I'm not gonna hate you for it or try to silence you. You do you, I'll do me... that is all.

    • LMAO! Sure, sister.

    • Show All
    • @fabulouspancakes It's not a matter of what I think, it's about what is presented, and most of what you said is what I was talking about. It plays out to exactly what was written.

      Women will continue to do their thing, but as I said it doesn't make some guy angry or bitter for doing his. I did say that guys would be hated for saying what they think, and the point of the Take is to tell them to let it happen. I don't know if I'd call it persecution so much as opposition.

      Women do face opposition, but like I also said they are still more likely to have others support and agree with them, and that remains the truth across the board in many other areas besides just the Internet.

    • It's my opinion that you seem to be bitter. That's really the extent of it. I'm not slamming you or threatening you or telling you you can't express your thoughts. It's kind of like how the more extreme feminists claim they're being silenced when people rightly guess they might be bitter. And that does happen, but it's usually cause they are in fact bitter.
      As for more people agreeing with women... I'm not so sure. It really depends on the audience. For example, mras/mgtows/red pill types and men who are just complaining about women are going to get more agreement on Reddit, while feminists and women complaining about men are going to get more agreement on Tumblr. From what I can see GAG is pretty balanced.

  • Cool, nobody needs to hate people. Erbody spread da luv❤️

  • People's reactions only on so many levels give away more about them, than what they say. That piece of advice will open your eyes to more than you see now.

    • And that also goes for the females as well.

    • Show All
    • *says the most about them

    • I didn't call anyone a misogynist. Just merely stating you can learn more about people from what they respond with. You can even gauge there guilt. ;p

What Guys Said 6

  • TLDR - but yeah, seem right. They really don't know what they're talking about, it's just all about the FEELZ. :)
    Oh, and they'll change their mind about how they feel about it tomorrow anyway. LOL

  • I have no hope left for this community, every post women try to get off topic as fast as possible and/or they accuse the OP of sexism.

  • Yes, we should keep doing our thing in the middle east.

  • Please, I want you to write a mytake about false lies the women spread here on GaG and even try to scientifically prove it by saying, She said it,

    While that She is total loser speaking about complex scientific. I am ready to corporate and provide the evidence. Please write it and name it,
    "in the name of science"

  • Good myTake. Idgaf I will keep doing horrible things and Idc if women like it or not

  • I only hate women (and men) who generalize males negatively or even positively!