The Key to Happiness: Independence

So if there's anyone out there in their early twenties, feeling anxious as I had been, learn to compete against your past, not other people.

For all my life, I was always dependent on others for my own happiness. I didn't know how to be happy without the presence of my friends. So when a friend would betray me or when I'd go through a breakup, it would ruin me. It would feel like the end of the world.

Lately I was also feeling anxious about a lot of my friends graduating college and moving forward with their lives, while I'm still stuck because I changed majors so many times and because I still don't know what career path to take.

But now I've finally started to see how happy I can be without clinging onto others. I learned to simply stop worrying about whether he's graduating, she's getting married, or they're having a baby.

I still hang out with friends and go on dates, but I'm no longer anxious to be alone and to find things to do on my own. I'm very happy right now. Sure, I miss the guy I'm into who is miles away, but I'm generally happy. And that's because I'm slowly adapting to being comfortable on my own.

I've figured out that the way to maintain this happiness is to visualize my world with myself in the center and other people revolving around me - I don't mean it in a selfish kind of way, I just mean that we should focus on brushing up on ourselves above thinking about interacting with others.

For the past month and a bit I've been studying a lot, going to zumba classes, watching tv shows, and from time to time going out with friends. That's how life should be balanced.

So if there's anyone out there in their early twenties, feeling anxious as I had been, learn to compete against your past, not other people. I'm still getting used to the idea, but I can assure you that it makes life much less stressful and more worthwhile.

There's a quote by a famous philosopher called Augustine that goes,

Why is sorrow distressful? Because it tries to rend what used to be one. Therefore it is troublesome and dangerous to become one with what can be separated. - Augustine

I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks. My conclusion is that "what can be separated" refers to other people in our lives. Because what else is there that can be so painful when separated from us?

There is also the concept of "perishability" in Japanese aesthetics, symbolized by the cherry blossom tree. It teaches the lesson: Don't get attached to things that perish.

The only way we can be eternally happy is to only be "one" with ourselves; our passions, talents, minds, etc. and to avoid being one with others.

The Key to Happiness: Independence


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The key to happiness is learning to be happy with what is already there instead of constantly desiring more.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Very wise conclusion thanks to self-assessment. Comparing yourself to others can be very stressful. Another person should be an enrichment, not the person to make you whole. If we don't find happiness within ourselves first, we end up in relationships with people for all the wrong reasons.

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  • This is really good. Be your own, whole self and you'll be a better person for it:

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  • Damn, this was interesting. Did you come up with all of this? This was great, it needs to be published. I am sure it could help a lot of people

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  • Very well written. As for me, I always compare myself to other guys. Me, I don't think I'm all that special. I wish sometimes I was more like other guys who get all the girls.

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  • Learn to be self proficient in all areas of life, from finance, work, self love and you won't be left unbalanced/out of pocket/ worse for wear when there's no one to lean or depend on

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  • I am Independent

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  • That is a good call well done.

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  • Thank you

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  • ...'Murica

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm a child.

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  • Wrong. The key to happiness is actually unicorns. 😂

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