So if there's anyone out there in their early twenties, feeling anxious as I had been, learn to compete against your past, not other people.
For all my life, I was always dependent on others for my own happiness. I didn't know how to be happy without the presence of my friends. So when a friend would betray me or when I'd go through a breakup, it would ruin me. It would feel like the end of the world.
Lately I was also feeling anxious about a lot of my friends graduating college and moving forward with their lives, while I'm still stuck because I changed majors so many times and because I still don't know what career path to take.
But now I've finally started to see how happy I can be without clinging onto others. I learned to simply stop worrying about whether he's graduating, she's getting married, or they're having a baby.
I still hang out with friends and go on dates, but I'm no longer anxious to be alone and to find things to do on my own. I'm very happy right now. Sure, I miss the guy I'm into who is miles away, but I'm generally happy. And that's because I'm slowly adapting to being comfortable on my own.
I've figured out that the way to maintain this happiness is to visualize my world with myself in the center and other people revolving around me - I don't mean it in a selfish kind of way, I just mean that we should focus on brushing up on ourselves above thinking about interacting with others.
For the past month and a bit I've been studying a lot, going to zumba classes, watching tv shows, and from time to time going out with friends. That's how life should be balanced.
So if there's anyone out there in their early twenties, feeling anxious as I had been, learn to compete against your past, not other people. I'm still getting used to the idea, but I can assure you that it makes life much less stressful and more worthwhile.
There's a quote by a famous philosopher called Augustine that goes,
Why is sorrow distressful? Because it tries to rend what used to be one. Therefore it is troublesome and dangerous to become one with what can be separated. - Augustine
I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks. My conclusion is that "what can be separated" refers to other people in our lives. Because what else is there that can be so painful when separated from us?
There is also the concept of "perishability" in Japanese aesthetics, symbolized by the cherry blossom tree. It teaches the lesson: Don't get attached to things that perish.
The only way we can be eternally happy is to only be "one" with ourselves; our passions, talents, minds, etc. and to avoid being one with others.