Stage 1- The beginning of the end
You know that by finishing this glass you will be drunk. This is the last sip that you will be able to feel running down your throat before becoming totally numb to all forms of embarrassment.
Stage 2- You put your drink somewhere, forget it, then take another
You finish the stack of cups, and you DON'T CARE!
Stage 3- You have to pee for the first time
You think you're okay, but once you're in the bathroom, you realise that the room is spinning, and how drunk you are.
Stage 4- You say you're not drunk but your body shows the opposite
Clearly no one believes you, and you don't even believe yourself.
Stage 5- You try to talk about everything
You think that you can solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict after a margarita and a mojito.
Stage 6- You think you're funny as hell, and start making jokes…but it was clearly a mistake since they were slightly (very) offensive
*crickets chirp*
Stage 7- You have a little stomach ache, but you still have hope
You think it's because of the delicious (but slightly unsanitary) hot dog that you had for lunch and that you'll be fine.
Stage 8- You lose this hope, and start repainting the walls with your mouth
Yes, we are talking about vomit.
Stage 9- The bouncer refuses to let you into the club
Sorry but that vomit stain on your shirt can't hide your lack of sobriety.
Stage 10- Your texts and tweets don't make any sense
And teh mroe yuo dkrin teh lessssssss yeiejzaokbz
Stage 11- You start flirting and kissing anyone (or anything)
You finally get some action after long months of nothing.
Stage 12- You wake up and have lost 3 of your 5 senses
And you must pretend to be as fresh as a daisy in front of your boss or professor.
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