Dear Men: Suck It The F%$k Up!

Dear Men: Suck It The F%$k Up!

*stands on soap box* Hey fellas, let me talk to y'all for a minute. I don't usually write Takes like this but I've been noticing a trend for a while, and quite frankly I'm tired of biting my tongue. Stop blaming women for every little thing that goes wrong in your life. Or better yet, the world. You didn't get a second date? Has to be the women's fault. You got stuck in the friendzone? Women are the worst. The sky is blue? Women are horrible and should be wiped off the planet! Like enough is enough already. I've been on this site for 3 years and it's been the same old shit.

I recently wrote a Take about monogamy and how I feel like it's basically fading. Majority of the comments on that Take came from guys, and a lot of them were blaming women. Nowhere in the Take did I even mention how it was one gender's fault over the other either, because I don't believe that it is. It falls on both men and women. We're all responsible for our actions.

Men seem to have this notion that women are in total control of the dating world. We hold the "keys to the cookie cupboard" (yup, this was really said) so whenever things don't go as planned, men go apeshit and women are the devil. I see so many comments about how women have it so easy and how men suffer. Have you ever stopped and thought, "maybe it's me?", instead of pointing fingers and looking to place the blame on anyone but yourselves? Maybe you aren't getting past the first date because something about your personality doesn't mesh well with others. Or you're coming on too strong. Or not strong enough. Or maybe it's just not meant to be. Either way, instead of coming here and going on a "women are worthless" rant, maybe take a step back and do some self evaluating. Regroup. Soul search. But for the love of all that is good, y'all have to stop bitching.

And before you all start, I'm well aware that women aren't perfect or innocent. Not by a long shot. We have our fair share of issues within our gender. Women are unnecessarily catty and constantly tearing each other down. And yes, there is male bashing that happens as well. But it's not nearly as rampant, vile, or malicious as some of the things you guys spew.

Listen, I'm a plain ass Jane that's overweight, so before all you dudes come running to the comment section with your "woe is me" spiel, I've dealt with rejection. And heartache. I've been used and manipulated. Lead on and just about every other thing that y'all complain about. Difference is, I look within when it happens. So maybe do that. But whatever you do, in 2018, y'all have to chill on the slandering of women. Thanks.

#CHARismaticOut ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾


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What Guys Said 58

  • Problem is, there is a severe lack of courage going on with many men who complain. Myself included and I am not ashamed to admit it. Lack of courage to change, fail, be successful, approach women, face rejection, and so on.

    Some guys blame women. I mostly don't. I more so blame myself but I blame myself too harshly. I don't accept myself half the time, at least when it comes to what is traditionally told what women want. Because I listen to it, put too much stock in it, let my jerk brain (ego) control me, I tend to withdraw rather than buck the trend.

    We are our own worst enemies, and I think that goes for both sexes. We limit ourselves, we hold ourselves back from true happiness because of what we perceive to be true. We search for answers, for truths, but the reality is, the truths we seek are not universal. Everybody in this world is different and nothing is set in stone.

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    • 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

      Very well put my dude. And I agree, we (both men and women) are our own worst enemies. I say that all the time. We get in our own heads and refuse to get out of our own ways. We spend most of our lives so caught up in trying to please the opposite sex that we forget to actually live and enjoy life. That's not just a guy thing, girls do this too. I'm guilty of it. Society is always changing. The standard is always changing. And that's what everyone fails to realize.

  • Just finished reading a take where I was informed by a woman that all men are rapists.

    There is always kickback when one group is demonized by society. From commercials to movies, men are largely represented as idiots or monsters. This will cause people to bark back.

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    • And that would be the other side of the coin. I'm not saying that there aren't extremes on the other side, because there are. I'm saying that it seems more rampant with guys. But yeah, I don't agree with the all men are rapists thing.

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    • And let me be clear about what I mean about “culture.” An example would be rape culture - you don’t have to actively commit an act of rape to be an apologist. Only a small percentage of men actually commit rape. The larger population doesn’t BUT when issues come to light, many of them are skilled in deflection, manipulation and end up making the situation worse. We have a culture of MEN (and those random women everyone hates) that excuse the action bc of what she was wearing, her sexual promiscuity in times last, etc. Hell when #metoo first started, men were deflecting talking about “well no one cares when men get abused.” Yes the FCK we do? Men can create their own hashtag or come forward as victims themselves. But that’s not what happened now is it?
      This conversation is necessary bc as someone who legitimately cares about sexual abuse and domestic violence I’m tired of the bullshit. Men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators and the apologists. I dare you to say otherwise

    • @JustAnotherGirlie ok. Lump innocent men in with rapists. Sure.
      I’ll in turn lump you in with baby drowners, bitches and thieves, the mentally ill and hysterical women.
      Or is or is it that we just lump people in with whatever particular crime their sex happens to commit more: in which case you better prove to me that you will not commit Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome on children. In fact you should prove you are not a perpetrator of this sick crime before you are let near children. Guilty even without accusation. You must be a monster.

  • I kind of agree. The responses you described can be typically found in MGTOW.
    And it's always much easier for anyone to put the finger on the others than to step back a bit and wonder what or where one did possibly wrong - Even if it's just an expectation, that wasn't realized or truthful.

    A good quote i remember is "the changes begin with YOU.". You as in yourself (not the you-you but the person anyone can see in the mirror).

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    • MGTOW is a perfect example.

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    • MGTOW: Women are the problem!
      Feminazis: Men are the problem!
      Me: Get a room you two and leave the rest of us out of all of this. Freaks.

    • she's only talking about the reactions with people on THIS site. and believe me his site is not a very good conductor to demonstrate the behavioral norms of society

  • So many salty dudes in here. LMAO

    Apparently GaGers don't have the best reading comprehension. I mean, you literally spelled out the fact that you know shit goes both ways:

    "Nowhere in the Take did I even mention how it was one gender's fault over the other either, because I don't believe that it is. It falls on both men and women. We're all responsible for our actions."

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  • If something goes wrong in society, Republicans blame Democrats or vice versa. Same goes for men and women. You don't need to take every argument seriously. Many women say *All men are pigs* and so the men says *All women are who*s* but the real men and women always know what truth is.. Welcome to gender politics ;)

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  • With all due respect, women need to suck it the fuck up because they are the ones blaming men for everything. They have been for years and men are now sick and tired of their entitled attitudes and callousness. Maybe just fucking maybe they have a point, did that occur to you? Of course it didn't because your a woman and therefore completely devoid of responsibility and fault. Here's an idea, instead of saying how all men are hypocrits, slut shaming creeps who are not really nice guys but secretly assholes and also just plain assholes, who abuse their significant others, exploit women, are misogynistic and racist, also rapist who hate gay people because fuck it why not, maybe just listen to what they have to say? Maybe get your collective heads out of your collective asses and consider that maybe you are the ones who fucked up and need to start owning your shit? Or keep being self absorbed, solipsistic misandrist who refuse to acknowledge that they are humans because clearly that has worked so well for you, so well that men are now refusing to play your games, refusing to marry, hell some refuse to even enter any kind of relationship with you but clearly they are the problem. This is fucking bullshit and I'm getting tired of women consnatly blaming men for every little thing, telling us how worthless and evil we are then turning around and claiming we are the ones to blame about us being upset that we are being treated like shit. Yeah, how dare us for expecting to be seen like a human fucking being. In conclusion, take your own advice, quit bitching and blaming men for everything and just treat them like human beings, maybe listen when they mention how women are mistreating them, I know I know what about women right? Because women need to be the center of attention at all times, but just try to consider that maybe men are not just a bunch of whiners that maybe all these men are not just bitter because "they can't get laid", maybe its because they really are being treated unfairly.

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    • Shit you're clearly harboring some issues against the opppsite sex. Lol

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    • Dude you've been victimizing the entire male population for days now. I didn't victimize shit. I said stop blaming us for everything, which again, you've provided plenty of examples. At least I'm not painting women as these perfect creatures that do no wrong. That's all you. But whatev, I'm done here.

    • No, actually you are. Suck it up and deal with it.

  • Technically speaking, what's it really to you when these whimps complain about women being the cause of all of their problems? I mean, just ignore it. You empower them by giving them your time of the day.

    Although I agree that generally if one is unsuccessful at something, in this case, dating, they should look first at themselves before anyone else. But sometimes some of these guys have a point - some things that used to be different have now changed for most or at least a large part of women. Things that are more detrimental to men.

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    • Technically speaking, I said I have it ignored it. For the entire 3 years that I've been using the site. And I'm pretty sure I'll go back to ignoring it. I literally saw some ignorant shit, opened up the MyTake thing, and wrote this.

    • Well the problem is, despite increased female autonomy and financial independence, stereotypes about women still exist. We are all still golddiggers. We are all untrustworthy. We are all disloyal. This anger towards women is really not about us at all, but about a changing society that tolerates female independence. As a first world country should.
      And some men are quite violent in their interactions with women. Even today, we still see men bending over backwards to justify violence and aggression towards women. We still see domestic violence and assault in homes across the country. And when a man is virulent in his misogyny, it’s dangerous for all women and children involved.
      Don’t let social media radicalize you in your dislike for women. Only a fool would think that type of behavior doesn’t manifest IRL.

  • I completely agree with you that there are a subset of men that slander on women, however I would argue that the subset of women slandering on men far exceeds the reverse case. And in general I'd say your view is based off of ignorance and the inability to see things from both sides.

    Go to a bar with a bunch of women and the topic revolves around "omg this guy that, that guy is gross, bla bla bla."

    Go to a bar with a bunch of men and the topic revolves around the usual sports, work, etc.

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    • First of all, thanks for at least engaging in a semi conversation. Secondly, I've been in atmospheres with just guys and just girls and the conversations were more alike than you'd think. And while you may be more likely to hear a group of women talking about guys over the opposite, I still stand by my opinion when I say that men are by far much more off the wall and outlandish with the slander.

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    • That's not a bad point, but delivery is everything. I will say that ghosting is becoming a growing problem. As cowardly as it is.

    • Totally agree with you

  • Good job on this take.
    In the end, it all comes down to the ability to look beyond your own ego, contemplate and perhaps change for the better. Both men and women a lot of times are unable to do this. Why?
    - Because it's easier to be in self denial and point your finger at others. So sadly it all ends up in frustration, which often leads to immature mud throwing back and forth.

    On the other side I won't ever date a girl who is extremely 3rd wave feminist, as I think it has gotten to a point of man hating.
    - It isn't progressive at all. Be humble and lets meet eachother in the middle, no assumptions or prejudice.

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    • Thank you for being able to look past the title and get the Take for what it was. And I agree, it definitely is easier to fall into self denial. I've been guilty of it before. I can admit that. But I've learned from it so I'm able to see it a mile away. And I'm all for girl power, but 3rd wave feminism has long driven off that path into darkness.

    • No problem.
      We've all fallen into that dark hole at some point. Part of maturing is developing this sort off knowledge. Emotional intelligence is important. I believe anyone with a more realistic point of view, will have way better chances of finding whatever they pursue.

  • Yes but to be fair, I see a lot of women who bitch about men here. People need to stop the finger pointing and tribalism based around gender.

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    • You just contradicted yourself within your own comment. You just blamed women then tried to whip back and say it isn't a gender thing.

  • And this take folks, is why men have opted out of long term relationships with women.
    Gone fishing ladies... permanently.
    www.foxnews.com/.../why-men-wont-marry.html

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  • As a FT working single dad , I most definitely " Suck It The Fuck Up !! " every single day !! Men get shit & sexism from women too , in my case the automatic assumption that male = pedo kiddy fiddler / rapist , and / or unfit parent !! However I do understand that girls / women are often brainwashed to believe men are low life forms & this will influence them to view men in a negative light. Even my astute daughter , at the age of 8 , noticed this trend.

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    • Good on you for being a good single papa.

    • @CHARismatic110. Thank you , it is hard at times , my surly , sullen 14 year old boy is a severe test of the last reserves of my patience , as well as the stress from work & dealing with my ex... she is difficult because she wants me back , my response = NO !!

  • TL:DR; @CHARismatic110 is bitter that other men are bitter.

    Message to the author:

    Dear @CHARismatic110,
    This is G@G, you should be aware what type of people this site attracts, I am 100% sure that this website does not represent how the general population thinks, so sit back and enjoy the show.

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    • Like I said, been here 3 years. I'm well aware of what type of people this site attracts. And I'm speaking to the people on this site.

  • Damn, that's a lot of frustration. Are you sexually frustrated? ;)

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    • Nope. I'm pretty good actually. Was wondering how long it would be before someone said this tho lol.

  • Dear women: Suck it up as well!

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  • well i neversaw the cookies coming to me so i think women having the key to the cookie cupboard is too far off xD i know both genders face rejection it's not easy for anybody and nobody wins by ridiculing the other genders issues. let's just understand each other and try to make it better for each other xD

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  • I totally agree. Finding the right person is all about timing and actually developing a better love and understanding about yourself.

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  • Uhhh, no. It's women and feminists who blame men for every problem under the sun. Only we give no fucks about who you blame for what. You do whatever you want. We don't have to be a part of it. Go away.

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  • All I hear from you is :

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    • Lmao that's kinda what I wanna do every time I come across one of those rants so... points for that!

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 13

  • YES GIRL! They are not tryna hear reason on this app! Everything is a constant pity poor me session.
    A lot of guys think women have it easy when dating, but they’re only talking about the hot girls. They forget most women are average, and you can stratify possibility of attraction by race as well. But that’s a separate issue.
    Overall women don’t ALWAYS have it easy. I used to get bullied by people, and the boys were the worst. Making fun of me, throwing things at me on the bus, telling me they liked me and harassing me in front of me peers. THAT was my childhood and it still affects me to this day.
    I still have problems with vulnerability because I’m afraid a man will never *really* like me. I guess I’m just afraid it’ll turn out to be a cruel joke.
    But did I blame all of mankind? No. I had a right to be pissed but I just looked internally and tried to get therapy. If you feel sorry for yourself It doesn’t allow much room for other people to, in my opinion.

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    • "I used to get bullied by people, and the boys were the worst. Making fun of me, throwing things at me on the bus, telling me they liked me and harassing me in front of me peers. THAT was my childhood and it still affects me to this day. "

      Yeah this was pretty much my life from 3rd to 8th grade. I went through hell with bullying. Mostly from guys. We've got a lot in common girl.

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    • @JDavid25 Race is a construct but it has very real implications for us all. We are judged and stratified by it, limiting opportunities for career advancement and marriage. But I’m assuming you knew that

    • Yeah, that's why I said the last part.. I recognize that it will forever be labels we used.. LOL.. I'm seen as a "Black" man so yeah I would know first hand it's implications.. :P..

  • Thank you. A lot of this spite is mostly coming from brokenhearted, angry, disappointed men who are just upset that things don't go exactly the way they hope it would. You can see this exact behavior from the so called mgtows who claim their done with us yet women seem to be the subject they constantly talk/bitch about. I see constant blame on women for the fall of marriage, blame women for fatherless children, blame women for not wanting them and saying it's us who's superficial and money obsessed gold diggers when it's really them or they're the same way. I constantly see guys saying women are evil for denying them or not accepting the way they are but it's totally fine for them to do the same and that we should not shame them for their "preferences". Okay, but why are you doing that to women? For example, If you want a bad ass chick with an athletic body then fine go ahead but stop getting pissy when a woman wants a taller man. I don't want to hear shit about you saying you can't change height but she can change just so you'll accept her or so she'll have chance to get with you. I'm just seeing this type of behavior being played out a lot, it's the same ole " I don't have to change, she's a bitch if she don't accept me the way I am but I don't have to accept her. She has to do the changing if she wants me". Both genders have their flaws and are not perfect.

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    • Yes! They always talk about double standards and all these expectations that women supposedly have, but are the first ones to yell about preferences. It doesn't make sense.

  • Well... This site attracts a lot of bitter men. Probably the majority of them are bitter. I don't mind. They are not worth my time and you shouldn't care about them either.
    Most of them can't find a place in society so let them have this corner of the virtual world where they can pitty each other to death. 💃

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    • It attracts a lot of bitter and crazy people in general lol. Just seems like the guys are always on a 1000! But you're right. I'll just go back to ignoring em.

  • Haha Literally exactly this!
    I've written a few mytakes like this before and almost ALL (38 out of 45 - an estimate) of the comments were from 'guys' being very cross with me because I see their sad and frankly strange view of the world... (In which, of course, they're not to be blamed for anything.)

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  • This is so good! Great Take!!!

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  • Really good take. I agree, but I do think women are guilty too, as is everyone sometime or other, but recently I've seen so much crap about blaming women for this shit!

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    • Oh women are for sure guilty of it too and I said that. I see some questions from us ladies that make me roll my eyes extra hard lol

  • Keys for the cookies hahhaha, yes I know exactly what take you're talking about, it was quite revolting.

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  • You tell them. Now that that was finally said do you feel better?

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  • I fucking love this!!! Just excatly!!

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  • The responses from men on this site is why I took a year break away. They always have a spat with women but forget that they overlook women that is a good match for them. Just write mgtow all over this shit hole.

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  • I think everyone needs to suck it up, these victim mentalities are gettin real old real fast

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  • İntereting

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