The Struggles of an Introvert

I_Do_Mind
The Struggles of an Introvert

Being an introvert is a daily struggle in my book. I constantly want to say something in class but decide not to because I convince myself not to. Being an introvert is in my opinion self sabotage. Almost every second of the day I am filled with inner thoughts that are often negative. I see someone who looks great and instead of saying a complement, I contemplate a way mentally to say a complement, only to decide against it because my cons out weighed my pros mentally.

Being alone with your thoughts is what an introvert has to deal with often. It is a challenge but it is so natural to us that it is a hard habit to fight. I analyze everything, every action every insecurity is brought to light every few minutes. I feel physically drained often because I am tired of hearing my thoughts. I envy the extrovert because they can converse their thoughts so easily and seem worry free. I feel trapped in my mind a lot of the time, like I am in a prison of my own construction. I am the plaintiff, I am the defendant, and I am the prison bars.

I wish to express my personality but it is often lost in my mind. I feel often like I am viewing the world through my mind, not my body and that my body is but useless flesh that holds and protects my precious mind that is the keeper of my thoughts and life. I walk on autopilot, not making eye contact because my thoughts are more calm when I look at nothingness. I have trouble focusing because I feel that my thoughts are the only important thing and that myself is the center point.

I always feel like something is wrong with me, my goal is self improvement, but my thoughts say that I can never improve. When I found this website I was able to vent and put my many thoughts outside of my mind. I get to figure out what is logical and illogical and challenge a lot of my self doubts. My new mission thanks to this website is to branch out and hopefully ask a guy to be my boyfriend. A fear of talking is my biggest challenge right now, I wish I could just type my thoughts or invite people directly into my mind so they can see my personality.

Expression to me is solely writing, but I hope to get better at communicating outside of the mind and the unconsciously typing fingers and instead speak my thoughts and jokes and ask my deepest of request personally. So when you encounter one of us self-centered (because we can be self-centered because we live within ourselves) individuals, we do not mean to be rude, we maybe self conscious or unable to store up the courage at that sudden moment the courage to be the courteous and willing people we are inside.

My goal is as well to find my personality again, because it feels at times lost because it is constantly trying to adapt to the changing atmosphere that moves rapidly around my steadfast body and spirit. Thank you for your time.

- an introvert

The Struggles of an Introvert
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