I Am a WGHOW- Woman Going Her Own Way: Here's Why... (Page 2)
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Congratulations on the weight loss, that may not have been the point of this take but it's still something that should be acknowledged as it's a difficult thing to do.
Interesting take otherwise, I'm not sure I'd go as far as you and cut men out completely but I also haven't had your experiences. The one thing I'd tell you to remember is not all men are the same. Of course now you're still you but in a smaller package, guys are visual creatures. Even still not all men only are out for what's small and hot.
I've been overweight before and while I do get more attention than I did before I still did get a lot of attention when I was bigger.
Obviously, you need to do what's right for you but I don't think it's fair to call every man shallow just like it's not fair for men to call every woman a gold digger.
Congrats again and good luck. 😊
...😉
Makes me feel good to see women who know what's up, and express it.
When at the gym, I see some pretty heavy women working out. My thought is: go girl, you got the guts to go for it. But I have never thought to verbally or otherwise encourage a heavy woman working out. Fortunately, I've never seen anyone bully a heavy person at the gym. What way can a guy say something to a woman, to encourage her, without coming across as a lecherous pervert? I seldom say anything to women at the gym, as I don't want to be perceived as coming on to them or something.
What can any man ever say to any woman without knowing her, that isn't seen as being a sex crazed pervert?
You know, it's really good to hear something positive about women from other women. But, to be fair, both genders can be shallow. Some more than others, of course. But I know what you mean. As independent and together as you sound though, I think it was more than looks that men weren't having about you. I have noticed that men can't stand when women don't specifically cater to their desires. Any time a woman doesn't fit into the mold of what caters to men and their wishes, she will be ridiculed and taken to task. You unfortunately were the recipient of this behavior. Keep your head high and keep right on stepping. You are so right - do what's best for you!
This is funny.
Here's the thing - MGTOW exists so that men can have an option to not follow societal expectations in a society that DOES NOT support them.
Women by default can not go their own way since you are catered to by society, regardless if you choose to "disassociate" it or not.
and mgtow doesn't exist either. all some made up stuff
@OpenWine it exists buddy
can I take it to the deli and exchange it for a sandwich?
@OpenWine no for the same reason you can't take communism to school, despite the fact that it really does exist.
ok so this is a joke kinda like feminism. "men go their own way" all men do it why do you need a label really. this is just an excuse so you don't need a better explanation why things didn't work as you planned
@OpenWine thats some circular logic. The way you're putting it, MGTOW is the excuse for problems when in reality it's the result of them.
Also, I'm not one myself. I merely educated myself on them.
so what's the problem?
I suggest you go reqd up about it or listen to MGTOW youtubers yourself.
amen brother!
this is exactly what I'm trying to say and even if they do succeed at making a wgtow its just gonna proof that feminism was a total failure
There is nothing wrong with your choice to not play the game because you do not like the rules. Even as a moderate, traditional, vanilla guy, I understand the near indispensable nature of physical attraction and the mental gymnastics needed to ignore it. That is because while it appears shallow (and can often be), it is hard wired instinct.
So, how many ugly guys did you date? How often have you been the shallow one, the one who took one look at a guy and decided he wasn't the one for you, because of some surface infelicity? In fact, aren't you guilty of the very thing you deplore, rejecting these guys as "shallow", by assuming they rejected you because you were "fat"? No, you aren't standing on any moral high ground, here. You're four years old, going "Nyah, nyah! My toys are better, now. but you can't play with me!"
You weren't desirable before, because you didn't take care of yourself. Now, you've gotten past that. I congratulate you on the hurdle, but I'm afraid it's given you an overinflated sense of self-worth. You're not dating material yet. When you set aside your unreasoned hatred, THEN you might dip a toe back in that pol. In the meantime, please keep up the workouts. Better an arrogant ass in good shape than a morose one in bad shape. If nothing else, it improves the view.
I like how you're assuming things here.
I've dated guys who society thought were ugly. But it didn't work out in once case and in other, the guy cheated with a hot chick.
There are good guys out there, maybe, somewhere. Just think yourself lucky, there could have been plenty of pointless romances, and all the bad sex, you missed out on.
There are ladies only gyms in Oz, they are really useful for most women, no one wants to exercise with people gawking and ridiculing them.
The other thing to think about is the guy that never harmed you and treats you with respect, fate made you meet, now not 15 years ago, you shouldn't punish him because he was never nasty to you in the first place.
while i don't agree with everything you've said, i can see how you arrived at this conclusion about men after just reading some of the answers given by men. how creepy and embarrassing:
"you could always switch hit"
"That's your loss and indicates shallowness and delusion"
"Being overweight is simply unattractive"
"it is hard wired instinct"
"You are missing out"
"Men want to make sure that the potential mother of their children is healthy and capable of caring for multiple brats while cooking, cleaning, laundry, and taking care of our "needs", too."
"I love thick women lol"
"women's judgment of a man's worth is much worse and more shallow"
"if you can't get dick as a woman there must definitely be something wrong with you"
i guess most men truly are pigs. i hope you some day encounter some who aren't and are able to pursue a relationship with one if you choose
First, you are generalizing. Second, double standards. I've been through hell and back in elementary and high school. People suck, both sexes. There's just seems to be more horrible people than nice people. People love to put down others to make them feel big. I did not say that's the I'm not talking to all people lol. I know there so e good people out there. And then there's the fat thing, don't get offended, it's my opinion. Fat usually equals to " I don't give a shit about myself or my health. There's people that have diseases and can't lose weight. Then there's the people that are fat because they addicted to lazyness, and bad food, or too much food. Just cause it tastes amazing doesn't mean it's good for you. Know that you took "care" of yourself, you body thanks you, hopefully you are happier, healthier and a better version of yourself. Life is meant to be lived, so live life!
Feminist man hater. You know girls are just as shallow to men too. I was far and I was invisible to girls until my body changed and I grew into my body. Now women try to befriend me and I only befriend those who like me for who I am. Most women who are attracted to me get shy anyways so I use that as a filter.
No point in hating a gender because of your past and your teenage experience.
In today's society it is almost mandatory that we avoid any interaction outside of organized events like work and school. But it kills me to do so...
I'm too far gone but I don't want that to affect how other people interact with each other, if I could bring people back together I would. But that isn't possible and it isn't safe to put yourself around people that don't even consider you worthy of basic human rights.
Avoiding men is best for me, but I still try to provide a good example of how people should interact to the young men that have to look to me for support. I can not personally continue to put myself in bad positions, but I will continue to defend the men in my charge, help them build their lives and progress because I want to believe that this is all just a phase the next generation will look back on, and I hope there is still a few good people left to provide them guidance.
the guys that you came across sound like assholes. However, I can guarantee fat guys would have had a similar experience with women. As for the social experiment tinder date reference, the caveat to those is usually the person's tinder profile shows and actual picture of them without the fat suit. It's more the person showing for the date doesn't like being lied too.
also just read a lot of the comments from guys in this thread and honestly I'm ashamed of them.
Me, too. I can see why women have so much against us.
WGHOW is nothing new , " I don't need no man " " a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle " and so on , has been female popular culture for decades. As you point out , yes women generally do support other women and form very close friendships ( men generally do not with each other ). Another female advantage in staying singe , is a far lower sex drive than your male counterparts.
I am saddened by and sorry to read your bad experiences , but girls / women are equally as mean and nasty towards boys /men and just as shallow. People in general are mostly a negative.
Nothing of that's true. I'm pretty big myself. I believe woman to be the worst at ridiculing people's weight, and what they look like. They even do it to themselves. No doubt there are people that seem not to care. But having this all about how guy's are, is farther from the truth.
Honestly, sounds like a bit of selective hearing. I doubt ALL men were cruel. That ALL men were disgusted by you. Seems like bbw porn is stronger than ever. Maybe, just maybe, THE guy you wanted to be nice to you, was mean. Any guy not approaching, got lumped in. Did the guys in the gym really react that overtly? Did you watch them, with eyecontact, as you passed? Maybe, just maybe, YOU imagined much of these reactions. From my experiences (many heavy friend girls) most men just ignore fattys if they aren't into that. Most women, strangers anyway, said far more, and far worse... the second you were far enough to not hear.
Yes they did.
What, ignore you because you talk in vague, half sentnces, without any hints at the topic?
The way you feel is understandable. Believe it or not guys go through the same thing. When we're fat and awkward, girls mock and treat us like social jokes. When I was fat, girls at my school would tease me by asking if I'd ever had a girlfriend or even gotten a kiss. By the time I was a senior and a football star, some of those same girls were interested and wondering who I was taking to prom.
Look at it from a hunter-gatherer perspective. An overweight person means less active, hire maintenance, unhealthy. So a male hunter who considered mating with that woman is going to have to work harder just to copulate. She would also require more work (hunting) to keep her fed. Let alone all the other things required for rearing a family.
Modern society is battling our baser instincts in that you don't need to be fit to survive. In some ways, our instincts are correct regarding rates of obesity, we're not well suited for sedentary lifestyles.
For both guys and girls, in my opinion, you increase attractiveness just by being within healthy BMI. There are many other factors that play into it besides weight.
I think you find people who can't find gainful employment, disabled, diseased, criminals, and others face similar discrimination. Life is harsh even in peacetime.
What if a man were to say "I'm becoming a Masculinist" because "females this and females that" people would give him soooooo much hate and name shit men do and how he shouldn't stereotype women, how he should get over himself etc. Like this post is bullshit so is feminism and so is MGTOW and WGHOW.
First, just like with MGTOW, I think judging the opposite sex as if they are all the same is just immature and a waste of time.
Second, of course people will judge your appearance. Few people want to date fat people because it's often unattractive and unhealthy. It's natural selection, adapt or perish. I'm the type of guy to be shallow, but appearance is important, not everybody is beautiful unlike these body positive morons will tell you.
Now, something that I admire in your story, is that you had the courage to actually lose weight instead of joining the body positivity and be a lazy slob.
Once again, not every men are like this. There are a lot of genuinely good men out there and you're missing out a big opportunity, especially if you would like to experience couple life. I would suggest to think about it and try to meet guys at parties with your friends, not necessarily for dating, but just to see that indeed there are some nice guys out there.
"appearance is important, not everybody is beautiful unlike these body positive morons will tell you"
Amazing. You're probably the first person I've seen that isn't one of those 'body positive morons'. But then again, I live in Massachusetts which is a liberal cesspool.
@SkittleMayn May god have mercy on you, living amongst liberals... I hope they are not all libtards...
I agree it's terrible men were mean to you when you were overweight. I wouldn't act that way to obese people.
What I don't agree with is you having an issue with men only wanting to date thin women. It's "shallow" for a person to only want to date a person they are attracted to. Okay. Then you said the lesbian women where great and you would date them... EXCEPT you aren't attracted to them. So you basically are... shallow. It's only fair to me mad at yourself.
So you mean having preference for a penis is shallow? Something that cannot be replaced? Okay.
I'm not sure if it's shallow (hard to determine). I meant you want physical attraction. You don't just want a guy for their penis I'm pretty sure. Strap on dildos are very common with lesbians so they may take care of that issue. They'd never get soft either lol. You can even pick your favorite size and shape.
I suspect you will meet a nice guy to you one day you're attracted after you've gotten over some of your resentment. I wasn't trying to say you have no reason to feel resentful.