When I was younger and going through puberty, I thought having big boobs was going to be the greatest thing ever because I thought it would get me lots of attention and make me feel hot but little did I know that with big boobs came with great responsibility. This mytake is for those who have big boobs or for those who think having big boobs is all fun and games to learn that it’s really not. So here is my rant against my 28L sized boobs.
Expectation: “I would look hot in all my clothes!”
Reality: If you can find clothes that fit you!
My boobs get the final say in what clothes I buy because it’s either I find something that fits my boobs and looks baggy everywhere else or I find something that fits everywhere else and looks like I’m giving everyone a free show. I haven’t worn a button down shirt in years and I can’t button my new cardigan all the way because the top button will pop off and hit someone in the eye. But when you do find something that does fit everywhere, it’s a dream come true! (If you don’t mind people judging you harshly).
Expectation: “I could cover them up when I need to and only flaunt them occasionally”
Reality: No, you’re going to show them off even when you don’t want to!
I can’t wear stuff like tank tops, T-shirts, or anything that’s too tight or has too low of a neckline because you can really see my boobs. Even if they’re covered because a fitting top can still show the size of them and there are times when my shirt slides down and my boobs sneak out of the top and say “Hi everyone!” Which is not something I like because I prefer to dress more conservatively in order to be taken seriously.
Expectation: “They would come in slowly but surely!”
Reality: Nope, they’ll grow like crazy
(Insert same picture here because it works twice)
I was 10 when my boobs started growing and they grew about 2 cup sizes a year, making me the girl with the biggest boobs in class and the other girls ask if I stuffed my bra and when I was 19, they grew 6 cup sizes in a year and they were FINALLY done growing when I was a 20 year old with mixed feelings about her 28L boobs (but at least I’m in college now with girls who have bigger boobs than me (thank God I’m not alone lol).
Expectation: “Finding bras wouldn’t be too hard!”
Reality: I hope you hate money!
I can’t go to the stores like Victoria’s Secret because they don’t carry my size so I have to order my bras online for 50 a piece. And don’t even get me started on the prices for the strapless bras!
Expectation: “I would be so sexy that no man can resist me!”
Reality: Sure, if you like creepers!
If I had a nickel for every time I had a creeper compliment me on my body of all things, I’d be so rich that I wouldn’t need to use my boobs (that apparently have the power) to snag a rich husband! Guys, it’s tasteless to flirt with a woman by praising her body! Praise her clothes or her personality, not her boobs (or whatever else) unless you’re in the bedroom and having sex!
Also, some dudes aren’t that shallow, some dudes prefer small boobs, and some dudes prefer dudes. So if you’re gonna planning to go under the knife just to get that one guy, you’re just going to be stuck with two watermelons on your chest and that guy not looking twice at you.
Expectation: “Exercising wouldn’t be a problem! I’d just wear a sports bra!”
Reality: ...Or two or three or 5000.
I haven’t ran in ten years because I don’t want people staring at my whole my boobs bounce all over the place and throw out my back at the same time. And sports bras do NOT get the job done because they are too flimsy, don’t cover the entire boob, or they will at first until the boobs find a way to free themselves and stretch out the sports bra... Yet another reason why I’d rather stay inside and eat pizza.
Expectation: “They would be so perky!”
Reality: Ever heard of gravity?
They sag down and make me feel like a grandma because I can’t get away with not wearing a bra because they droop down to my tummy. I would only get complimented on my body if I wear a bra!
Expectation: “You’ll learn to love them!”
Reality: Yeah :)
My boobs can be a real pain in the ass, but they’re my pain in the ass and I learned how to live with them and how to dress with them. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I wish they weren’t so big and I wish that I could take them off at the end of the day (my fellow busty girls will feel me), but they’re a part of what makes me feel sexy and a huge (pun intended) part of what makes me... me :)
Thanks for reading and may you and (if you have them) your boobs, big or small, have a great day!