Why do the nice guys have to take the crap for the guys who actually caused a problem?

I've seen this more than just a few times. Some a-hole of a guy takes advantage of a girl and hurts her in some way. Suddenly, it's not just his fault, but the fault of every guy on the face of the earth. And guess who gets the most crap for it? The nice guys. We get beat up for the mistakes of someone else we've never met. And we get more than other people do because we're too nice to fight back or turn the tides. We didn't do anything to you. So why beat us up over it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's the individual, not just women. Men do this to us too. They get taken for a ride by some worthless bitch, and suddenly they become commitmentphobes denying a good relationship from good women because they can't trust.

    It's a terrible way to live one's life, constantly punishing others for the bad behaviour of one. My husband had ridiculous jealousy problems when he met me completely sure I would cheat, and it took years to get him to give me a break about it as I had been nothing but nice to him and never cheated, never will.

    You just need to remind the person that you're not that other person. You don't deserve to pay for someone else's mistakes or bad behaviour, and if the women you're talking about continue to do this with you, they obviously are not ready to be with any guy until they sort out their problems with counselling, or read a book or two on how to get over their hurt to allow themselves to be loved without constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    Good luck, because women go through it too, and it's not fair no matter which gender does it to the other.


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What Girls Said 3

  • 1) If every guy on the face of the Earth is being blamed for the fault of one loser, then every guy on the face of the Earth is sharing equal blame, not only the nice guys.

    2) I haven't seen any woman go up to a random man and rant at him about how all men are scumbags because the loser she was sleeping with cheated on her. I'm sure some women have done that though.

    I would just look at her crazy and say, "Well NO man is going to want you now if you're going to act like that."

    3) Not all nice guys are spineless. Some have back bone and would tell a woman that she's being irrational.

  • I do not know maybe the other guys do not want to get in trouble so they blame it on the nice guys. I love the nice guys they are my favorite

  • If a girl has a bad experience then it can make her wary in order to protect herself... it is just human behaviour.


What Guys Said 2

  • Life is full of choices.

    A guy doesn't have to take crap from some damaged girl... but if CHOOSES to, that's his problem.

  • Dude if you're tired of getting crap from women do something about it if not take it and shut the hell up until you man up. I will never let myself be generalized with other guys

    • So you're implying that it's happened to me recently, which caused me to write this?

      Sorry to be blunt, but you're sorely mistaken.

      It's happened to me before, I won't lie, but I'm the type who just doesn't care and will let someone vent while pretending to listen to their abuse.

      I wrote this because I'm seeing it happen increasingly to people I know and people I don't know in recent days, even on the street and completely unprovoked.

      If you have nothing to actually contribute to the discussion and wrote an opinion for the express purpose of trying to offend me, please see yourself out and away from this post. Your ugly attitude is not appreciated. From now on, please ensure that you do not imply unsupported accusations toward someone who takes the time out of their day (or in my case, night) to write down what they want to say, especially if it contributes to intelligent conversation or discussion.

    • The way you're writting it sounds like a complaint to women for the crap you and the rest of the "nice" guys are getting from women. And the reason you "nice" guys are getting flack from women is because they're incompetent when it comes to choosing guys at a young age and its much easier to put all guys into a group rather than singling the guy who is at fault out of the group. You sound like a tight wad and should calm down

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