Am I having a mental meltdown?

My ex and I broke up because I discovered he was cheating with transexuals and having unprotected sex with them. I am so thankful I didn't catch a disease because him and I never used condoms. We used to live together and he'd come home at 3am, 6am and then he started coming home days to weeks later at a time. I asked him was it another woman and he said no. He sure wasn't with a woman because I spoke with the tranny he was dealing with and that's who he laid up with. It makes me feel less of a woman. What was the purpose of him staying in a relationship with me? Why did he have a need to impregnate me so badly? Why did he do this to me? I drink everyday because I can't cope. If I die in my sleep I don't care. I can't live with all of these memories and trauma daily.


Most Helpful Guy

  • As the old song goes, breaking up is hard to do. Yes, your heart is broken. But the good news is that putting it back together doesn't have a thing to do with your ex — it's all about you.

    Your Most Important Relationship is the One With Yourself
    You can't change what you don't acknowledge. So get real about your situation: It's over! For whatever reason, your ex doesn't want to continue a romantic relationship with you. Until you understand and accept that, you won't be able to begin the healing process.

    Although it's nice to have a romantic relationship, it's not necessary. You can be a whole person without being half of a couple. The old saying is true: It's better to be healthy alone than sick with somebody else.

    If you're terrified of being alone, you probably suffer from low self-esteem. You need to get in touch with your authentic self — that is, the core of who you are. Until you truly know and like yourself, you won't find a healthy and compatible mate.

    Getting Through the Day
    Put things in perspective. Does it hurt? Yes. Will you miss certain things about your relationship? Sure. Is it the end of the world? Absolutely not! You'll get through this heartache. Just take it day by day.

    Stay in the game! If you decide to be miserable all the time, you're bound to miss out on good opportunities. Don't let a breakup cheat you out of living a full life.

    Have the urge to call your ex? Replace that urge with an alternate, incompatible behavior. Go out with some friends, rent a funny movie, whatever — just do something to keep yourself busy.

    • Relapses
      Remember that you teach people how to treat you. Don't let anybody dump you and still use you whenever it's convenient! You deserve better. Send the message that you're moving on with your life, without you
      People can have strengths and weaknesses, but the scale tips one way or another. At some point, you must evaluate whether your ex is causing you more grief than happiness. Is it really worth the stress and heartache? Probably not.

    • Show All
    • forgiveness is what you do for yourself, not for other people. When you forgive, it doesn't mean that you approve of what's happened. Rather, it means that you're giving yourself permission to move on with your life.

      Forgiveness is a choice. Don't wait for it to just wash over you all of a sudden. You have to choose it.

      Don't give your power away. The pain of what happened is inevitable, but continuing to suffer is optional. The only person you can control is you. By constantly reliving the pain of what happened, you are giving your power away to the person who wronged you.

      Don't cling to negative feelings. Anger is nothing more than an outward sign of hurt, fear, guilt, grief or frustration. While the pain may never completely disappear, forgiveness can help you release the anger and bring those in your life closer to you.

    • There is no right timeline for recovery. For some people, making peace happens suddenly and spontaneously. For others, it takes time and effort. You may have to make a conscious effort every day to forgive. To say, "I'm letting this go. I'm not going to invest hatred, bitterness, anger, resentment in this person anymore." You can find closure in forgiveness.

      You can't change the things that happened in your life, but you can decide how you interpret and respond to them. If you didn't receive support when you needed it, give it to yourself now

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Get some counseling to deal with these thoughts and feelings in a healthy manner. Drinking is not going to help you in the run. It's a depressant and only making things worse. It's normal to be traumatized and depressed after a break-up, especially with what happened to you, but the ways you're coping aren't safe.

  • Why does it matter if it was a transexual or not? At the end of the day you were cheated on and that's what matters. Go see a therapist.

  • You are. You need to get away from him to be better about yourself again.