What’s the difference between confidence, insecurity, and arrogance?

So how do you define confidence and insecurity and which of the following do you think determines whether a person feels confident or insecure

A) Overall frame of mind

B) Skills/attributes relative to those around you?

C) Combination of A&B


Confidence is based on skills/attributes relative to those around you

EX:You suck at sports and always perform the worst so you feel insecure on the field, but intellectually you are very gifted and are miles ahead of you peers and because of that you feel confident (perhaps even arrogant :o) in the classroom.
Or with physical appearance, let’s say you’re objectively average looking but lived in a town where everyone looked like models. Relative to those around you, you feel ugly and insecure. Then if you moved to a town where everyone was average looking just like you, you’d likely feel more confident becaue now you are even with those around you

And then maybe your overall state of being (confident/insecure) is defined when you tally all the positives and negatives. So if the areas of your life where you feel confident outweigh the areas of your life where you feel insecure then your overall state of being is confidence? So if overall you are even or better than your peers than you feel confident.


Confidence/insecurity just as simple as your frame of mind. You can will yourself into being confident just by believing in yourself regardless of whether you have the skills/attributes to back it up. Confidence is just you choose to belive in and accept yourself for who you are, even if those around you are objectively better.

(C) Combination of A and B Bonus Question: Where is the line drawn between confidence and arrogance? Is it just if you think you are better than those around you? What if objectively you are better than your peers, would it still be arrogance?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Confidence is doing things, insecurity is being afraid to do things, and arrogance is believing you can do anything.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I should think the difference between confidence and insecurity is obvious, so I don't intend to touch on that.

    Sometimes (and please note I said SOMETIMES which is an important distinction) I think the difference between confidence and arrogance is how attracted this person is to you (let the downvotes commence). Seriously, I've seen it many times. Same guy, same skills, two different women. One was attracted to him, the other wasn't. The attracted woman thinks he's confident. The one who wasn't attracted thinks he's arrogant. I kind of suspect this is why a lot of good looking people are viewed as confident, whereas not so good looking people can be viewed as arrogant. Before you go hitting that reply button and saying, "I've known PLENTY of good looking guys/gals who were totally arrogant," please note that I'm speaking in generalities and of course there are plenty of exceptions.

    • I definitely agree about looks playing a role in how the person is perceived.

      What do you think leads a person to feel confident versus insecure?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Confidence: he will admit he let his younger sister paint his nail once when asked. He likes to read romance novels and can admit it confidently. He can walk confidently. Stand up for justice.. yeah... that's confident and brave.

    Oh I just read the full description... Didn't see it first. So I go with B.

    If you are better than your peers and you know it, that's fine but by dismissing their opinion /idea/ advice etc because you know you are better makes you arrogant.


What Guys Said 4

  • Confidence is feeling positive about yourself in a situation. Insecurity is feeling negative about yourself in a situation. Arrogance is bragging about how good you are and putting others down that you think are beneath you. It isn't arrogance as long as you keep your mouth shut even when you know you're better

  • Eh, Its all about looks dude, Looks Define us. I mean, Look at it like this.

    If a hot guy is being forward and loud he's - 'Confident and Planned'
    If an ugly guy is being forward and loud he's - 'Arrogant and Obnoxious'

    If a Hot guy is being quiet he's - 'Mysterious and Emotional'
    If a Ugly guy is being quiet he's - 'Loner and Antisocial'.

    Everything about our attitude is determined by what we look like.

    • Not true, people found me good looking, but I was so socially inept that just made the situation worse. People are harsh towards "attractive" people who make mistakes according to psychological studies.

    • People are even harsher to non attractive people who make mistakes...

  • Insecurity is when you don't trust yourself to be capable of doing something, because you think you are not good enough.

    Confidence is when you lack this depreciating self-doubt.

    Arrogance is when you put others down in the process.

    • What do you think leads a person to feel confident versus insecure?

      or what is the cause?

    • Show All
    • So you think its mainly a result of how people treat you?

  • Confidence- the belief in oneself with humbleness.
    Arrogance- the boastful believing in oneself. arrogant people believe there better that people and the best in the world.
    Insecurity- lack of confidence. Some people think loud means confident. They couldn't be more wrong.

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