What do you think about my poem? What do you think it's trying to say?

Our Bodies Our Life

I think, this world is not a world of its own,
With clocks and harmonies, and order,
I think this world is made out of stars,
That glow when they want to glow, and hide when they want to hide,

I think that the tree near the sidewalk, is no longer a tree,
It’s a breathing with skin, beaten up and scarred,
Leaving wrinkles with trails of maps,
Of where its ashes have hidden,

I think the buildings surrounding us,
Are drops of sweat hidden in the graveyards,
I think the cracks at the edge of the street,
Are cushions for bones and blank tongues,

I think that leaf over there,
Is the lost little girl trying to find her home,
I think surrounding us,
Are frames within frames, falling onto our rooftops,
And scripting on our bare skin,

Our stories are no longer our stories,
They are memoirs of how our bodies breath,
Breath with fullness and tightness,
With dead oxygen and sight,

We have polluted what used to be inside of us,
With families of insects and aliens,
And now we can no longer breath,
And now we can no longer see

Our fullness has outgrown our trails of light,
Adding curtains over anything bright,
We have outgrown these bodies, one says,
Even bones are hidden beneath these skins

in the last sentence, I meant to write 'even *though'


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that from the moment I read the "We have polluted what used to be inside of us"
    That I think it's about society and trying to fit in... but by doing so we forget to be ourselves and can't be truly happy, putting on a mask... the body that you show to the outside world your prison


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I'm not much of a poem person so I'll refrain from commenting, instead I'll just tell you that the verb is "to breathe".

    > And now we can no longer breathE*

  • Good use of imagery and symbolisms

  • its about chocolate flowers and jelly vagina unicorns... .


What Girls Said 1

    But seriously you're super talented!
    I don't think i'm smart enough to understand the message but is it maybe that all is not what it seems and that inside a totally fine seeming person can be a suffering, wounded one victimized to many things?

    • lol thank you! lol close but it's more reserved :) It's saying what we see first, meaning a corrupted world with no light or choice, and when I'm saying the body has polluted and has outgrown, I'm saying how we feel like we have to follow a set of norms and that's the end of it. But by saying that this fullness is a curtain, hiding the light, it's saying that inside of us is something far more beautiful and strong, meaning we can overcome this ordinary lifestyle if we realize that we're more than just ordinary. And in the last sentence, when I'm saying that bones are hidden beneath the skin, I'm trying to say that even though we feel full and we feel like we have the world figured out, in the end, we started of with just bones meaning we could end with whoever we want to be. But thank you so much! :D

    • Oh! I get it!!
      So its like we basically resort to normal and mainstream culture naturally and we shouldn't be afraid to be ourselves because its like we're hiding our true identities behind this common mask which we see as ideal, we shouldn't be afraid to be ourselves?
      Your point is totally understandable!
      This poem needs to be famous haha.
      I love the meaning you put in the poem :))
      No problem!