I m the traditional guy in my group and lots of my guy friends dont want marriage or settle down?

are you the few odd one among your friends? is it wrong for me to think something is wrong with them? lol


Most Helpful Girl

  • i feel like the odd one too sometimes

    im kinda of an old soul, traditional lol

    • wow its happening with the ladies too huh?

    • well not with marriage stuff

      but sometimes people get dragged after these new trends... ugh

    • yah... i think its a very personal choice. sometimes people stay single cause theyre picky and looking for a last girlfriend or boyfriend. like myself.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't call myself traditional. I'm very progressive/open-minded both politically and in terms of relationship. For example I don't think it's okay to be "traditional" (euphemism for "being a jerk" in THIS situation) if guys tell their girlfriends/wives to stay home and look after the children while they work in a 100% job. I told my girlfriend that when we have children, I want to share the work with our household and the children equally, so that both of us stay home 2 work days of the week for example and both can have a part-time job on the side. However, I am indeed the odd one out of my friends because I am the only one who wants to get married sometime soon (by soon I mean within the next 5 years). I am almost 27 now and I think it would be nice to get married when I'm 30 or so. All my other good friends either don't want to get married at all or they say that mayyybe "sometime later" in 10 or 15 years. Those friends who say that they don't want to get married at all argue that marriage is a completely old-fashioned institution, which is not necessary to become happy. Personally, I can understand this and I even agree with them but I also feel on the other hand that marriage does give your relationship some extra intimacy and brings it on a whole new level. For example breaking up is very easy when you're just dating. However, getting a divorce isn't quite as easy. This motivates a couple to sort out things and talk about problems instead of just breaking up. It forces you closer together, which I think is a good thing. Finally, there's one very special factor in my personal situation and by far the most important reason why I get married: I am from Switzerland but my girlfriend is from South Korea. Switzerland has extremely strict immigration laws in general and if you're not from a EU-country, it's practically impossible to settle down here unless you are a wealthy banker or entrepreneur or something like that. My girlfriend currently has a resident's permit that has to be renewed every year. It's a very stressful situation because theoretically, they could kick her out any day. So while we will get married for love, we will also get married out of necessity. When we marry, my girlfriend will receive a Greencard and will later be able to apply for a citizenship. This would solve a lot of problems both for her (labor market etc.) as well as for us as a couple.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • It's a personal choice. Why would you think there's something wrong with them? It's not like there's a shortage of children in the world. As long as they are straight with their girlfriends it's fine.

    • i beleive its human nature to want somone exclusive. if they dont, i feel its from a void or hurt in their lives

    • Even if you are right, they aren't interested in your advice about what they should want. Make yourself happy and don't worry about the choices that other people make that don't affect you. Anyway, there is infinite variation in what people want. Even if most people want a monogamous relationship, not all do and that's fine.