I feel broken and don't recognise myself anymore after the incident?

I'm kind of an independent person and have been taking care of myself entirely since at the age of 16, that's when I moved from home to another city.

A lot has happened in my personal life for the last year, one being that I've had two stalkers, one violent and another one that sent me flowers, called me in the middle of the night and imagining that we were an item when I've only met him once and barely spoke. My boyfriend's my rock but I don't like to burden him. I'm used of taking care of myself. We've had a lot of discussions regarding guys trying to make a move on me and actual platonic friends. He doesn't trust them.

A month ago I was walking home when something happened. The guy came out of nowhere, and his hands were everywhere. When I tried to push him away he just laughed, it was humiliating. I eventually managed to get away with just some bruises and a chapped lip, he didn't succeed with his plan. I have no idea who he is.

Ever since this happened I've felt extremely weak. I can't sleep, I have no clue if specific things actually happened (conversations, an act/event etc) or if I dreamt about it, I have nightmares, I feel stressed, unhappy and completely broken.

A few of my closest friends know what happened and my boyfriend. But I don't want to make it about me and if I actually talk about it I feel guilty and selfish. I talked to my best friend about how I feel and she said "yeah, I feel depressed sometimes too, but I think it's the birth control pills that makes me emotional. It's probably the same for you."

I feel like I don't belong in this world anymore and I don't know what to do. I've been thinking of moving to another country to study, a change of scenery, but I love my boyfriend too much. I don't want to talk to a psychiatrist. I feel trapped. Is there anything I can do to make this all go away? Please, I need advice.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is not a healthy situation for you. I'm assuming you live in America (since you don't specify). That country is going to hell in a handbasket, so if you have the opportunity to leave tou should do so. I understand you don't want to leave your boyfriend, but he's not really helping you is he?
    Another option is to see a therapist. They could help you deal with the panic and see things in perspective, you would be better able to make decisions then.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Is a fantastic site where you can meet others like you who will sympathize and listen to your problems.
    It's sort of like a forum site (where you can join different groups according to what you are feeling).
    You can do this for now if you are unwilling to reach out to any one else (in real life).

    Needing support doesn't make you weak.
    Even the strongest people at times need someone else to lead on.
    You are a strong girl... but everything you're going through Is a build up (of what you have dealt with through the years), now you are finally breaking after being strong for so long.
    Your best friend was trying to be understanding but doesn't seem to get what you are going through.
    She doesn't understand how she has affected you because she hasn't been through it.

    I know this will not make the situation better but as a young lady you should walk around with a mace spray.
    I use it to protect myself because often times I am walking home by myself at night.
    There are creeps out there.
    Besides joining the support group I mentioned, try to keep a daily journal.
    It will help you release and sort out your feelings.

    You've been violated in life when all you have tried to do was be a caring person.
    It will take time to get over this.
    It's a process.
    But the beginning of the healing needs to start somewhere.
    I hope the information I gave you will be helpful.
    I wish you the best of luck <3


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You should take marshall arts classes, carry some mase or pepper spray and a taser. Eat plenty of vitamin b because sciencetist did a study that all vitamin b foods and supplements are linked to a happy life.


What Girls Said 1

  • Something like this is traumatic. It may take some while to pass, but don't give up! Your boyfriend sounds a good guy. You must always tell him how you feel. Lack of talking through issues can lead to misunderstandings, and is usually the cause of break-ups. Any changes you can make will be beneficial, except of course leaving your bf! Try simple things that don't cost much. Things that will take your mind off your problems. Things that will give you a new focus.

    I don't know if you can PM me, but if not, chat here. It doesn't take long to get to Xper 2 when you can PM.