Is this a good brief narrative? Please judge my writing honestly?

my names irrelevant. 17 years old, living somewhere in the U. S., college student and currently working in the food industry as a barista in a small cafe in downtown.
I'm an old soul in all honesty and a fiercely independent creature. I love libraries, studying, learning, reading, and journaling. I have a caffeine addiction that is slightly severe but still I love lattes and earl grey London fogs. My love life is a mess of complicated unrequited feelings. Seriously, it's kinda dark and twisted.
But than again I'm a little dark and twisted.
But I still believe in myself and I want to be better and better everyday. I'm a type a perfectionist and I've been diagnosed with bulimia and bipolar disorder. I'm not a very moody person and I think they were wrong there but my experiences with recovery are pretty traumatic.
I dream about traveling, recovery, and finding a person better suited for me. I often enjoy drinking coffee and traveling in solitude. I'm not a lonely creature, but I like and need my solitude. I guess I'm a bit introverted in that sense but in all honesty I love getting to know people and trying to understand them.
I'd like to believe I'm a fiercely loyal creature but in all honesty I don't have a lot of time to stick by people's side, I have plans and a life I want to live for myself. I can be pessimistic at times but overall I like to believe that deep down everything will work out for me.


Does this person sound interesting/is it w good description of someone? You can be honest I'm not really asking for grammacial corrections I know there's a lot I wrote it in a couple of minutes really quickly


Most Helpful Guy

  • Earl Grey is a name and should be capitalised.

    " it's kinda dark and twisted. But than again I'm a little dark and twisted."

    You don't start a sentence with "but". Also "then", not "than".

    Same thing next sentence, starts with "but" again.

    "I'm a type a perfectionist" - not sure what you mean by this. "Type A" maybe? Capitalise the A in that case.

    "I'd like to believe I'm a fiercely loyal creature" you said almost the exact same thing in your 2nd paragraph - try to reword this to stop it sounding repetitive.

    "to stick by people's side" - not entirely sure about this, but since people is a plural, it would have to be "sides"

    • also no promises I haven't missed anything - English is not my native language

    • Show All
    • You are welcome :)

    • Alright

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