Should I just cut him off and try to forget?

we are both 30, so we aren't that young. We know each other almost 3years, we have met at work, we went out, had a lot of fun, start seeing each other,after couple of months, he said, that he doesn't want a girlfriend, I wasn't into FWB, so we separated...we still have seeing each other at work and after few months start talking again, he called me one night wanted to talk, we spent two hours talking, he said that he misses me, that I was bit pushy on him, and the other thing is, that his family won't accepted me, because he is Spanish and I am European...we left thinks between us like that, still talking more, finally we met up and hooked up... I was afraid to be pushy, so I let thinks go on, hoping that it would get better, we slept together, then his phone got cut off, we still were talking at work, but haven't been seein outside of work, I slowly was getin over, after 3 months, he come back, we again start going out, spending more time together, we had a lot of fun, but after a month the exactly some scenario; his phone got shut down, I didn't belive that, got really mad,then find out from his coworker, that his phone was fine, he was having two phones.I was over, ignored him, change my nr and just completely cut him off, it was over a year ago, he tried talk to me the whole time. I run into him in the club some time ago, we finally talked, he said, that he was trying to call me, but I have changed my nr and never gave him chance at work, he asked for my phone, I didn't give to him that night. I did couple weeks later, he called we talked, I asked him for his intention, he said that he doesn't want relationship, just fun, I said that is ok, it's just I want more then fun. We went out later on, had a great time...he was trying to sleep with me, I told him "no", that I won't sleep with him, if all what he wants isfun, because I deserve better, that f... buddies.Since then we talk almost daily, still spending time together, of course sex issue came back couple of times, I told him, that I won't back up on my word, he said that he doesn't want any obligations...and then he calls me again...why is he doing that? the true is, that I really like this guy, I spent on him past three years, and now I don't think I want to wait anymore, I don't think that there is anything to wait for... we do have a lot of fun together, and we feel very comfortable, we always have stuff to talk about, and we definitely very attracted to each other, but I feel that in the end I am going to get hurt again... should I just ignore him? sorry for my english guys, I am still learning, that's my second language... thanks for more thing is he lied to me few times before, the two phone thing is still not resolved...I let a lot of good guys go, because I was waiting for him...


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't want to sound bad here, because you clearly hold a flame for this guy, however having 2 phones and lying to you about that is not a good sign. in fact it's a sign he's a bit of a player. Sometimes people have communication problems, technology sometimes doesn't work, but to outright lie about it? That's no good for you.

    He has at least been open and honest about his intentions, he is essentially looking for a bit of fun with some benefits, and sure you have good times together. I think you will know the best way forward in your heart, although I think there are 2 best options here.

    1. is to forget about him. He's lied to you and has played around with your emotions for a good while now, so just move forward with your life. Personally I believe this is the best option but you might want to consider a slightly easier approach...

    2. Is to keep a friendship going, but at at a distance. That means no sex, just enjoying each others company for what it is but with set boundaries. You must keep in your mind what this guy has done and what he might do in the future.

    If you were to get with him, he might not change and be looking for something or someone else. You will know the best way to move forward with this, just be careful as you don't want to be hurt by someone just because you've invested 3 years in them. If they aren't right for you then maybe it's time to move on.

    • Thx, it is good to get opinion from person, which is not involved... I don't think, that I will continue this this "friendship" cause, I know, I will break at some point...

What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like he calls you again because he knows you will at some point give in. Tell him to leave you alone. He is not worth any more of your time. He is using you. He does not like you. Do not read his contacting you after blah blah period of time as him coming to his senses and realizing how great you are. He is only doing it to have sex with you. Move on.

    • You are absolutely right! I know that I will give in probably soon. Just saw him last night, now he is saying, that we should see each other and only date each other, but without any obligations (?) I am proud of myself, told him to go home, now just try to get over.....