What do you think of this small passage (BE HONEST)?

Tell me what you think, be brutal, be honest, thank you.
Here's what I read:
The ice-fire that had perched both his blades had not waned away, though; he did not expect both his swords to lose their shimmering glazed luster—not right now at least. Ice-fire roared, dancing on the edges of his blade, painting an eerie sapphire radiance around him. He slashed Zandor, Sword of Shadowlight through the air, not daring to relinquish a single second. Several glazed blocks of ice, spangling like orbs in the shadowy darkness, shattered like glass, then swayed away into the invisible gust that cut through the vapid tree trunks. Filaments of smoke, mingling with blue and grey, pranced in the air, but disappeared just as the blowing ice crystals had winked out of existence.

He had not expected for the Rel’zars let alone Death Bladers to have lasted this long, and especially against him. There were only two Rel’zars left, still possessing the deleterious aura of blackness that curdled a smell of great fetid. The two black-winged creatures cringed, taking several steps back until they reached the rise behind them. Their swords were tainted with ice-fire that Azuren’s Dragonic magic had faintly touched, tainted with swathing streaks of varnished blueness. He only saw little of that on the one Rel’zar to the left. However, what bothered him was the fact that the rank of Death Bladers had not moved an inch since Yuzen and Shira had left. He did not think they would move, or speak for that matter. They stared at the seemingly endless battle of death for what seemed like hours and hours of continuous showering torrents of fiery parks. He did not understand their true intention—that was not to say that he cared about their intentions.

“Time to die,” he said, slashing his blade through the air.

I need to know exactly how to make it better.


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What Girls Said 1

  • pretty cool!

    • That won't cut it, sorry. I need to know what EXACTLY you think.

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