Wait for an option you can't have now due to bad timing, or choose another decent option available now and risk losing the first option later?

If you have the choice to pursue something amazing in your life (relationship, job, etc.) but it won't work out immediately due to bad timing (lack of resources, location, etc.), would you wait a bit for that amazing option or pursue another seemingly good option available to you now, knowing that you're risking not having the first option later on?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Go for amazing. :) That's my advice.

    Unless there are other factors you're not mentioning, "go for amazing" would be a good rule of thumb in situations like yours.

    In other words, do what you believe, based on all the available evidence, you will WISH you had done, looking back five or ten years from now.

    Good luck. :)

    • Thank you. To give a little background - there's a man I've gotten to know and we've grown to really have feelings for each other over the past 3 1/2 years, have even said we love each other, but he lives on the other side of the world. The couple times he's been in the US for business I wasn't able to see him for scheduling reasons. After I finish my master's degree in 2 years, we'll both have careers that give us some mobility and will have options if we can get together and pursue a relationship. We're both staying open minded about it.

      Meanwhile, I recently met someone else who's still kind of far from me (6 hour drive) but he also seems to be the type to know how to treat a woman right. I think he's worth getting to know more, but on the off chance something serious could develop, I also don't want to lose the chance to be with the one I've already put so much time into, as I know I could afford to fly and see him later in my degree.

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    • Oops... There's a saying that if you fall in love with two people, choose the second because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have fallen for another person. In this case, I obviously don't love the guy I've only been talking to a month or so, although I do care about him. He just seems like the best option so far that's been somewhat near me. The guy I've known for over 3 years though, I know that I love him, even though it's from a distance. He's the only one who's been brutally honest with me, even when things have been bad, the one who truly appreciates my "sweetness" and hasn't tried to take advantage of it. He told me recently that I'm too good to him and he doesn't deserve me, that I'm a gem, etc. I realize clinging to the possibility of being with him may seem stupid to some, but he's the guy who's treated me the best. Even other guys I've only talked to online eventually turned into assholes, but he's always been thoughtful, respectful, and kind.

    • Cool. You're definitely in an "interesting" situation. :) Hope things work out well for you. Take care.

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