Is adopting a child the same as having your own?

I've been growing an interest in one day becoming a mother. It all started lately this year way back in April or May.

However, I'm single (only had 1 boyfriend in my life whom I've broken up for ages) still need to finish this final semester and financially become stable. The problem is even with that, what if a relationship either doesn't work out, I don't find the right person or it doesn't go further. I'm already 28, will turn 29 in April.

If for whatever reason time runs out and I don't find the right person still, would adopting a child on my own feel the same as having my own child?

I'll be done with college towards late Dec. If I'm not mistaken, I think it's going to take me a bit of time to become stable. I think by then I'll be in my early 30's but then making the relationship last and finding the right man would be the harder part.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Whether or not you would feel the same about an adopted child as you would feel about a biological child is a question that is rather difficult to answer. Although most parents do tend to care for their biological children a fair deal, there's no actual guarantee that someone will love their biological child. There are many parents who seem to not really care all that much for their biological children, and some who will even go so far as to do horrible things to them. On the alternative, there are people who do seem to love their adopted children like their own.

    Thus it seems to be a question of the parent with respect to how they will feel in any particular situation. Not only with regards to the general strength of feeling you might have for any child (ie will you love it at all), but if you feel a biological child is better than an adopted child and you think you will love it more, than you might care less for an adopted child because your initial feelings on the matter might prevent you from feeling the same for the adopted child. Then again, it's hard to say, people often seemingly change their minds when they're actually in a situation, and it might depend on the age of the child you adopt with regards to how strong a bond you end up forming.

    But if you are wary of adoption, a couple thoughts which might perhaps be worth considering in favor of it:

    Adopted children can lack a stable home environment and someone to support and love them. Adopting a child is not just having a child for yourself, but helping someone who is already alive and whom very possibly would have a much worse life if they weren't adopted. Adopting a child in this respect can be a much more noble thing than having a biological child.

    Having a biological child is also one of the worst things you can do for the environment, and can sometimes have life long impacts on the mothers health (up to and including death in rare instances). There is also seemingly an uncommon but not insignificant possibility that a biological child could have severe health problems. It might not make you love them less, but it could be emotionally and financially draining. Even if detected prior to birth and you believed in abortion, that in and of itself could have psychological impacts on the mother.

    And if someone loves their child only because they share some of the same genetic code and their biology pushed them to do so. It might perhaps be asked, is that real love? I certainly don't know.


Most Helpful Girl

  • adoorion is amazing. You can always freeze your eggs also.

    • Thank you. Will keep that in mind.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Just be prepared for the child to cling to you like its your own biological child. O. O

    Its not the same but the connection is going to be there.

    Experience/source: I was adopted and Im close with my mom who adopted me.

    • I would want to at first have my own child but if I'm not able to due to time running out and/or not finding the right man, I'm open for adoption. But yes, it would suck a bit not being able to share that experience my mother and many women underwent.

    • Well to the kid you adopt that won't matter cause your his or her dream mom. Your the one sticking up for them your their literal hero in their books.

  • Nope its not the same!

  • No because you're adopting it. Mind blown!

    • I know. I mean besides that whole pregnancy process I won't go through by adopting a child, would I come to loving him/her as my child?

    • It is a child wanting love and someone on his side like any other child. Someone who's adopting it should be able to give this to it.

What Girls Said 1

  • Adoption is a wonderful thing.. One day I hope to adopt a child that's over 13 years of age because everyone always what's the baby and I know that they're moody teenagers but I have the patience