How to not have judge people before I know them?

I see people and think they are this and that and i dont even know them the idea just immediately comes into my head without me trying. I can like somebody very much and still think they are this or that. I was talking to someone who was very nice and i liked a lot he was short so i thought he's a loser and he seems like a great guy I can't control these thoughts and its really wrong I want to be open and friendly and know people before i try to judge if at all. I just get these thoughts i dont let the thoughts influence me but they come and their often not true?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Pre judging is something everyone does. In times of risk, it can save your lives.
    Ex - You see three men in black walking towards you down the street.
    You decide to cross to the other side because you assume they must be trouble.
    Little did you know you were right , those turned out to be the same men who later on robbed a store.

    We all pre judge to some degree.
    We all formulate a thought or opinion about someone initially.
    Whether our thoughts hold valid or not depends on how the person represents themselves.

    Don't feel bad about pre judging.
    We all do it.
    Sometimes it can be used as a safety measure (as described above).


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's impossible not to do that. We have a preconceived opinion of a person based on their physical appearance, the way they dress, and their body language within seconds of seeing them. It is an ingrained subconscious action we preform when meeting new people and it can't be turned off. It used to be, and on some occasions still is, a part of our fight or flight reaction.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Ya can't. We judge people unconsciously the first time we meet them, it's called snap judgment. It actually helps you to sort out your friends, plus you don't make it go away, you control it. I don't think snap-judging someone before you know them is bad, it's all in our brain and it's been set according to the society's standard. It's only bad if you hold on to that judgment for a very long period of time that it eventually drives you to the wrong mindset of that person.


What Guys Said 1

  • You can't not judge people. That's how first impressions work. What's actually important is whether you give them a chance to prove or counter that first impression.

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