Why do people attack others who convey self-pity?

Seriously what's wrong with people. If they're not going help the person, then why not just ignore them and move with their life. Yet, some people feel entitled to attack the person and make them feel worse. They justify their attack by saying life isn't fair or others have it worse. Some even have the balls to justify their attack by saying they had it worse. How would they like someone to do same when they're sufffering and need a helping hand? It's simple either help or don't. No wonder there are so many people that commit suicide, seeing how many fucking douches there are in this world.

Self-pity DOES help. Self-pity is an emotional catharsis. Sometimes we need to feel love or support, especially some of us that don't have friends or a support network. Emotional pain and sadness can set a person back by damging their motivation and conceration.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Some people feel self pity and others feel rage. Two sides of the same coin.

    That being said, others are rarely the source of anyone's entire problems in life. Learning coping mechanisms for how to handle lief and emotions is the only way to get through. You can't rely on others for validation (either positive or negative) it just doesn't work. Self pity isn't really that helpful because it doesn't really change your emotional stage and can even make it worse. Reaching out in a constructive way to make changes is helpful. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a great starting tool that I'd suggest. There are workbooks and online resources.

    There is really no need for people to be jerks about it, but I wager most people who attack others are also miserable and get angry that another miserable person exists that they think is "taking way" what they believe are finite resources of support or kindness in the world. Or that if someone else gets support, then they must not deserve it. Triggering very similar defeating thoughts about being useless, unimportant, bad, etc.

    Much love, fellow human, and best wishes to you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • you answered it, they're douchebags.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I totally agree with you but there are cases where the person who is doing that needs to get a slap on their face. I have to deal with a person who does self pity all the time without realizing what got him into that position where he is hopeless and no one is on his side.

  • Hmm depends on the situation I guess. Of course everyone needs an outlet, but not everyone is as serious about their own problems as they think they are.

    This annoyed me with my ex. He loves to complain about his problems, but he shows absolutely no effort in solving them. (One of the many examples: He kept complaining about not knowing what field of study he should pick for his Masters. I pointed out that he look up more information about the fields on the school website. A week later he starts complaining again, but he didn't do any research on the fields...). I pointed it out to him, but he still kept complaining to me that he didn't know what field to pick...

    It's easier to sympathize with someone who is actually willing to work on their problems.

    • Sorry. I accidentally down voted you. I meant to up vote your opinion.

    • haha no offense taken XD

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