Why is talking so difficult?

I'm shy and I'm awful at conversations. When I'm with my close friends I do the thing with words and everything is great. When I'm with new people, I very rarely think of something to actually say.

With girls that I'm interested in, I get butterflies and feel like I'm auditioning for the voice (I'm awful at singing, no this isn't relevant).

So I guess my question is essetially how do you be comfortable with everyone? I'd love it if I could talk to random strangers the way I easily talk to my best friends. Anyone have any wonderful tips or tricks? This is really bugging me and I'll try imagining people as giant random birds if that's something that works


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) Don't filter yourself as much. Don't think so hard about what you're going to say. Let the words flow (within reason).

    2) Give less of a fuck overall.

    3) Practice, practice, practice. Just start with saying hi to random people, and go from there. Talk to people in line, in class, etc.

    4) Don't "try" to do anything, just let yourself talk.


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What Girls Said 2

  • My trick: take a deep breath and speak my mind. Whatever comes out. Of they dont like it, screw them. Just be you. But start small, have a friend introduce you to another friend and go from there.

  • Because new people are scary :( , I feel you

    I don't have very good advice because I'm either the same as you or I babble and new people get to hear my whole life story because I don't want there to be any awkward silences lol

    I'll try the giant random birds thing with you for science though if you like, sounds interesting :')

    So.. yeah sorry for being unhelpful. But you sound sweet and I wanna give you virtual hugs *hugs*

    • Thanks for the hug :)

      If nothing else, trying to imagine everyone as a bird will be fun >.>
      And this'll sound awful, mostly because it is, but thanks for sharing my struggle with me

    • It doesn't sound awful. We're in this together :3

What Guys Said 1

  • Communication is more than just words. It involves body language. There are numerous topics to talk about. You just need to relax your mind and not think about the awkwardness. Learn to read if people are interested in the conversation. Ask what people's interests are? If it's a topic that you aren't familiar with, let those people talk and "educate you."

    • Trying not to think about how awkward it is will 100% make me think about how awkward it is >.< Good advice though. I'll try my best to be as relaxed as possible when I attempt to converse

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