Do you know who you are as a person?
I'm taking a philosophy class this semester and I'm really trying to decipher this one. I don't think I know who I am as a person. I feel like I've mimicked other people's behavior for so long that I've lost contact with who I am. I've always been interested in incorporating behaviors that I've admired in other people to make myself more desirable. I say things that I think people will like instead of what I believe. I share only what I desire and try to conform to the expectations of those I admire. Maybe who I am is just a clever chameleon who can adapt to his social surroundings even if it's only temporary. I noticed that when I spend too much time with one person I slowly become them. Their personality and sayings become my own. It's incredibly unhealthy behavior and most people who know me never get close enough to notice it.
I've realized that I'm super interesting to most people I meet at first because I haven't run out of content yet. After I'm done regurgitating the humor I've stolen from movies, tv shows, and video games, I don't have any original content of my own. Once people peel back this fascinating exterior, I've realized I'm quite barren underneath. I'm great at baiting the hook and reeling in the catch but I never get the fish in my net. I'm not sad or depressed about it but my fear of my own potential shortcomings have prevented me from being ME my whole life. Most of these shortcomings are imaginary as well. Honestly, besides the lack of a real identity, I don't think I have many shortcomings. I have so many natural gifts and advantages that not many people possess in one person but for some reason I've handicapped my personality for as long as I can remember. I've kept it concealed in the hopes that people don't have to see it. I've surrounded it by pretty colors and interesting but unoriginal dialogue.
Who am I? I'm an illusion/chameleon/mimic who is trying to construct a persona of his own making. I'm going to put my best foot forward and be ME. I won't fear being vulnerable. I won't wear an intriguing mask. I refuse to spend another moment being somebody I'm not to get laughs or to impress women. I'm taking control of who I am from this moment onward.
I'm not perfect and I never will be. Now.. Who are you?
Most Helpful Girl
That was profound.
I'm almost the same. I find myself being extremely witty when meeting new people. I don't have to steal someone else's jokes, usually I whip stuff up on my own that's relevant to the situation. But slowly I just lose the spark. I don't exactly know why that is. It's not like I'm running out of content, it's more like I don't try as hard to impress. So the witty part of my brain just turns off. It's weird and I don't get it.
Otherwise I know myself extremely well, I've always been very self-critical and aware. Rarely do I act on impulses or do stuff randomly. I always have a pretty clear motive. I'm stubborn as fuck. I have strong opinions and I follow some very strict rules. I'm definitely not easily swayed (unless we're talking about something harmless, like getting lured into buying some candy or skipping school for a day). I'm generous. I'm loyal. I don't gossip or reveal other people's secrets (most likely because I forget about them pretty quickly). I'm actually not a very forgetful person. I can forget names and dates, but experiences and stuff people have said to me... never forgetting anything. I've surprised my friend so many times with my mad memory skillz that she has actually called me a Remembrall on multiple occasions, lol.
DAS IT. I guess. In a nutshell.1
Most Helpful Guy
You're in college so it is the time of self discovery. who I was before and after college were very different. outwardly people may not have been able to tell but certainly mentally and emotionally I was a very different person
I believe around 24 I really started to figure out who I was, what I wanted, what I didn't want, and how to go about getting or achieving exactly what I wanted in life
I do feel like I know who I am now... but that probably could change. Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us that force people to re-evaluate things1