How can I quit drinking without rehab, classes or AA?

I'm under 21 but I've been struggling with alcoholism for almost two years (I'm 20, not 18 like it says). I know it's my fault but I was having trouble coping with my abusive parents and other problems now I'd rather not go into. It wasn't a big problem for a while, I felt better. Less uncomfortable around people, sure of myself, almost invincible at first. After awhile however it started to overtake my life and I just started to drink because I felt the urge to. I started to get angry, depressed, paranoid and ruined most of my relationships with my friends and family and I couldn't hold a job.

I hid my drinking from my girlfriend for a long time. She knew I drank a lot on the weekends but didn't realize it was an everyday thing. She started to figure it out when I started lashing out at her for no reason and then apologizing profusely. I stopped trusting her and often accused of things even I knew were irrational. I realized I was losing her and promised I'd quit, a lot, but I'd always break. She stayed with me for a while but I may have ruined things last night. She got a ride home from a guy and when I learned it was a guy I went off and just abused her verbally. I realized as I was saying it I was effectively ruining my relationship but I just felt so out of control (again I know it's all my fault). I begged her forgivness as I usually do but she's just been ignoring me. I think I ruined everything, but even if I didn't I want to change for good this time. I want to show her AND myself I can do this, plus I need to break this habit before I go into the military and have to suffer withdrawal during basic training.

I haven't been on this website long but I feel a part of this community and think the people here are genuine and caring even though it's somewhat anonymous. I'm begging you, I need some advice from anyone that might know. I can't go to rehab, take classes or join AA because that will fuck up my military opporitunities. I just need to know, what the hell can I do because I'm desperate.

I know I'm a piece of shit. I love her so much and just treated her terribly because of my own fucking insecurities so I'm not looking for sympathy, just a way to make things better.
She hasn't snapped, texted or done anything to contact me all day. I think it's fucking over. I fucked up two weeks before I got to see her again. On the day I quit I fucking ruined everything. I just want to fucking die now


Most Helpful Girl

  • Number one: leave home. An abusive and stressful environment is not helping in the slightest. If you're being abused go to an authority figure or since you're 18 maybe find friends, family members or even see if there's any way you can get some temporary housing.

    Second, try and get a support group. Rally together the friends you still have, whatever family will support you, and go to them if you have problems.

    Third, try and channel your feelings into other things. Since you're going into the military maybe try focusing on athletic activities such as running or going to the gym.

    How are you getting the alcohol?

    • I buy it. I look older than I really am and there's this mini-mart run by these Indian guys that don't ask questions. I'm not being abused physically anymore but the mental shit they put me through is still fucking with my head.

    • Show All
    • I will. I also want to fix things with her so bad. She's coming home in two weeks and I want to see her then. I don't know what to do; I've apologized a ton but she's ignoring me. She's also going out tonight and I don't want her to go out mad at me. I'm fucking craving a drink already

    • Just calm down a bit. Maybe message her apologizing and tell her you're planning on stopping your drinking, and that if she's willing then her support would be greatly appreciated because you want to do this, not only for you but for you as well. You obviously know you screwed up, no use beating yourself over it right?

Most Helpful Guy

  • When you're going to drink, make sure you have something that will remind you of wanting to quit and that if you kept drinking, it will never stop. Ask your girlfriend for help will be good, I am sure she'll be willing to help you. FYI I didn't read all of them, just read the title and ur update and a bit of the content, but it just literally goes down to being addicted to something which kinda have a similar solution to everything about addicted. You just need to be strong at pushing yourself apart from it and make sure it is very inconvenience for you to get to it.

    • I'd ask her but I've promised her many times I'd quit and I doubt she gives a fuck anymore after the shit I put her through last night.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I want to point out that you have lost your girlfriend. There is no way of getting her back. You screwed that up. That's the good news. The bad news is that is just the first of the things you're going to lose secondary to your alcoholism. Your addiction will take everything away from you, friends, girlfriend, family, health and finally your life. What you need to do is decide how much are you going to lose before you will do whatever it takes to stop drinking? Just by your question, you are not yet ready to stop drinking. Why? Because you want to do it your way. I don't want to go to AA, I don't want to go to rehab class. You want to maintain control. The only way to stop drinking is to realize and accept the fact that you have no control, the alcohol controls you.. And you will tell me, "yes but – – –" and whatever I say and whatever anybody says your response is going to be, "yes but" if you are so smart then why can't you stop on your own? What's wrong with AA? It's free – – "yes but – – –" the only way to stop drinking is to accept the fact that alcohol is a got you by the balls. And you must do whatever it takes to stop drinking especially if you don't like what is suggested, "yes but – – –." That is what addiction is all about. I'm going to tell you this right now, whatever you put ahead of your recovery You Will Lose. Stopping drinking must be the most important thing in your life and you must do whatever it takes to stop drinking including whatever you don't like. Again if you so smart why didn't you stop on your own.. You have not yet realized that the whole life is fucked up, because of alcohol and that you have no control over alcohol or your life. Recovery from alcoholism is a long-term process but it begins by accepting the fact that your life is a mess and that is due to alcohol. After you accept that then you can begin to recover but so far you're nowhere ville. And you know why all of this is true? Because alcoholism is a neurologic disease with an imbalance of those chemicals within the brain that control impulsive behavior. Let's say you had tuberculosis. And I offered you medicine to treat it and you said no no I want to do this without medicine. People would look at you like you're an idiot. But you are doing the same thing with a neurologic disease called addiction. Do you understand? "Yes but---."

  • I am sorry about what you are going through, fellow human being. Life is a gift and the same time, it can be hell. To tackle your drinking problem you have to go to the root cause. Which in your case are your abusive parents and other things you did not want to say.

    You are young and building your career, if you keep drinking, you will fail. Try this today: don't give it up completely but reduce the amount you drink every day. I know this is not much help, but all I can offer.


What Guys Said 2

  • A lot of people say you can't quit on you own , I say horse nuggets !! I stand for the better part of 10 years and drank heavily ( daily ) for the last 6 of those years. I got up on Saturday night to get another one and got all the way to the fridge and just stopped in my tracks and said no more. That was a year and a half ago and I've stayed dry this last year and a half. It's a mind set YOU and only YOU can make. Make it for your self and no one else

  • First off: AA sucks. There actual statistic for successful people who follow the program is around 15% which is the exact same for people who quit cold turkey on their own.
    Second: learn some self control. People with an addictive personality aren't "sick" they simply lack the willpower to take responsibility for their own actions.
    Push through the pain of withdrawals like a man.