He grabbed mu boobs, but I only told him off? I hate myself for that?

so this happened more then a year ago, but it makes me feel like absolut shit and it makes me hate myself a little.

So i was at this club just minding my own business when this guy that walked towards me grabed my boobs.. and the only thing i did was yell at him basically... but i should have kicked him so har in the balls that i crushed them...

I hate myself not not doing that... how can i get over this? i just wish i was better and stading up for myself... why am i suh a wuss?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you would have kicked him in the balls then you would have deserved to go to jail and get hit back as kicking a guy in genitals is a serious issue, you can easily put him in a hospital and make him lose the ability to have kids. I believe that girls who think kicking guys in such a lighthearted manner weren't raised wrong and need to be taught a lesson so it's good that you only yelled. Although you could have slapped him as well. Kicking him in the genitals would cross the line.


Most Helpful Girl

  • the wuss types would beat themselves up
    when it's the entitled asses that haven't been beat up enough to suffer consequences

    what this was... was a wake up call... this time you weren't raped, gang fondled, life threatened
    consider driving training (automobiles) ... didn't they teach you that near-miss accidents are the yellow light? .. . that these warn you that you are not looking out for potential accidents and not driving defensively enough?
    same thing at that club incident
    now you will be more aware and sensitive to guys, what they are doing, looking, talking about and their mannerisms
    but you must also be prepared for the next event, hopefully it won't happen
    for being aware, then avoiding the next event can't always be enough
    PREPARATIONS begin at your local self-defense store &/or training outlets:
    -pepper spray
    -keychain whips
    -tae kwon do
    -purse guns... for dark parking lots
    -pens that serve as knives
    I think you get it, many others to suit your taste and dress

    Further, I don't read you talking to management and involving their bouncer.
    If they don't have one, willing to use him in your protection, then either avoid such places or bring your own. Also tell them you were the scout for a lot a pretty gals considering this place as "home", so long as jerks like that don't frequent the place.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You were in shock and most people wouldn't have even screamed
    What you did was absolutely natural and you need to stop thinking about it

    • im trying.. but i get to frustrated with myself for not punching him in the face or something :(

    • Well its all in the past and u need to stop thinking about it or this will hurt u in the long run

    • My thoughts exactly.

  • Well, at least you should feel like you're the better person :]

    • well i should, but i only feel like i was stupid for letting him get away with it. i get so anrgy with the whole situation because i didn't punch him or something

    • It happened more than a year ago. Let go.

  • If you're going to kick him in the balls then you better have something to kill him with. Attacks to the genitals are basically agreements to a fight to the death.


What Girls Said 6

  • Why do you think, you should have physically attacked him? That would not be an appropriate response, unless he was forcing himself on you despite repeated objections, and if you were in physical danger yourself.

    Physical attack is only acceptable in self defend. What he did to you was morally wrong, but not dangerous. Since he didn't do it again, after you yelled at him, there was no reason to hit him. So you should feel good for not doing it.

    You could have complained to the management, have him kicked out of the club, or had him arrested. All this would have been ok. But not hitting him.

    I have never even so much as slapped a guy in my life. Women tend to get away with hitting men, because of screwed up societal norms, but I think it's wrong...

    • Also it wouldn't have been a smart thing to do. If he got angry after, he could physically assault you back. And let's face it, us women are generally not as strong as men to be able to fight back.

      I am not taking away from the trauma of your experience though. I have had my boobs grabbed by strangers several times before, and I know hoe much it breaks you inside. And yes, you should take action when you can. But it can't be in the form of a physical attack... that is going down to their level...

    • Don't mind those down votes. I totally agree. Violence is something last resort and not something taken lightly. Plus, kicking in the balls is extremely painful.

    • @spuitkaas thanks. Appreciate your support. 😊

  • I absolutely get where you're coming from. Back when I was a bit younger and used to let everything and everyone use me as a doormat, I reacted the same way when I got physically invaded. Even something simple as being walked in on me naked in the bathroom by accident by my exstepdad. I would be so shocked, I'd just freeze. Then he would immediately apologize and shut the door , then I would immediately hate myself and would feel like commiting suicide (i was very suicidal growing up). I don't remember how I snapped out of that phase. Probably when I started realizing there's power behind my words and the fact that I no longer give a rip about what people think of me, more than likely snapped inside my head.

  • eh... same thing happen to me but worse.. I am planing on buying a pepper spray!

  • have you thought about taking a self defense class or talking to someone about it?

  • Yeah I agree you were in shock, I'd probably get mad and be speechless, I wouldn't even get to the part of telling him off but the only thing you can do is just stop thinking about it, it already happened, just find yourself a great guy who loves you for you and that'd make you feel better

  • Take your anger out in boxing classes. And learn to move on.