Struggling real hard and so depressed, boyfriend not helping, what do I do?

I am an anorexic.

It took me a very long time to come to terms with that and even longer to decide to fix it.

I have put on 10 lbs since deciding to make a change. And they were the hardest, most emotionally draining 10 lbs to put on.

And even though I've added 10 lbs, I'm still underweight. If you want to get technical, I am barely above the weight that, when calculated out, would put me at anorexic.

An anorexic weight is defined as 15% below the minimum healthy weight number for your height.

For me, the weight that is 15% below the minimum number is 102 lbs. I am 102.3. It has taken all I can do to keep the weight on.

I hate myself every time I look in the mirror and only see obesity. But I try really hard to force myself to eat to gain weight.

My boyfriend and I have been together a while - we're quite serious. This issue developed during our relationship and he has been very supportive and encouraging for me to get better.

Except today I was telling him how hard I was finding this and how much I struggle with it and he said, "I won't marry you if you don't get up to a healthy weight."

I know he was trying to be encouraging but it came off as demeaning. Like all the weight I've put on doesn't count for anything. It was like a slap in the face and it made me very depressed, not more motivated. All I wanted to do was go for a very long run and just stop eating all over again.

Any advice?


I look like the person in this picture.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, if he cares about you he will be concerned about what is going on with you. He's also not a psychiatrist or a therapist or a physician so quite honestly you might be putting him in a position where he feels just as helpless as you. Yeah, that was the wrong thing for him to say, but he doesn't know any better than you and you aren't exactly treating yourself very well. I don't mean that in an insulting way, you know how much you have struggled with this and it's no easy task is it? To help yourself and him you need to seek some outside help. You've started off right, but don't stand down, jeep pressing forward.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Being anorexic is not fun.. I also starved myself because I didn't like the way I looked.. I was always cold and my ribs we're showing.. I loved it. But looking back now it was the worst decision in my life.. I struggle with stomach issues now.. there is no reason that you should hate your body. Society now is so fucked up they say that thigh gaps and flat stomachs are the "thing " right now but I totally disagree. You should go with your boyfriend on this. Beating anorexia is hard, but i think you need to get help.. trust me

    • When I look in the mirror my ribs stick out and I'm cold all the time too.

      My ribcage sticks out a good 4 inches from my stomach. My stomach has been flat my entire life (lucky genes) and it started because I wanted to get in shape (lower my body fat percentage) and it just kind of spiraled out of control.

    • Starving yourself is not a way to get in shape. The more you starve yourself the more damage you're doing to your body.. your body will eventually go into survival mode and ruin your insides. You'll have stomach issues like me or even worse.. you want to be healthy and fit not skinny.. I'm 5'7 135 . I'm considered healthy.. you being considered underweight is not a good thing.. it's never a good thing.. you can always find ways to gain weight but stay fit

    • I used to be fit. I used to be athletic. I was healthy. It went overboard.

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What Guys Said 1

  • you need to talk to him, or, if that fails, leave. if things stay as they are... it will destroy all you've done.


What Girls Said 0

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