What do you do when you can't accept guys nature?

i have problems accepting things for how they are. I just feel like guys only want to use women when it comes to sex. Yeah, i know that sex is a primaly instinct. yeah, i know we are ment to reproduce and yes, i do know that guys can't help how they are when it comes to wanting sex.

I know alle of these things, but it still pisses me off and im always on guard. Im almost scared of having sex because im so afraid of getting used and doing what guys "want me for, or want me to do". And i have always been that girl that didn't like things beause it was mainstream.. so when the mainstream is "guys only date you for sex" i automatically get turned off, and i get annoyed and sometimes repulsived by guys way of thinking.

Just so its out there i love my father and brother, my guys friends are great, so i dont hate men, i just can't accept the nature of them i guess.

Disclaimer: im not stating this as a fact, i know there is something wrong with ME. Some guys are assholes for sure, but a lot of gusy are sweet guys who can't help how they were made. AND this is NOT, and repeat NOT a thread for bashing women, if you want to do that make your own question.

anyway the reason for this post, i want advice on how to relax about things i obviously can't control. So any advice from some insightful people?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You find a good therapist and you work on it. learn to read men better so you can be more confident you're not gonna get used.

    • its not that i have gotten used or anything, im just afraid i will at some point

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    • but i dont know where to turn to help, because i know im being unreational.. i feel like one of the only things that can "cure" me is meeting a guy who is great and likes me

    • Just ask around for the names of some good therapists. They're out there.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I meet guys from a different crowd who's top priority isn't getting some action. Sure guys are hardwired to want sex for the sake of the survival of our species but not all completely lack any sense of self-control.

    • i know that.. should have been more clear about it. But the fact they want sex thats whats botehring me, not only that they only want sex. I have meet a lot of really great guys, and i know a lot of my views are a relfection of my own self esteem issues...

    • oh ok so your issue is with them wanting sex at all?

    • yeah pretty much, i just feel like they want it more than me so hence they are trying to use me..

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What Guys Said 3

  • Wanting sex and only wanting sex are two very different things. Guys who want a relationship want to spend time with you in addition to sex. If you keep letting that voice in the back of your head keep you from dating anyone you will never find guys that want a whole relationship. When you hear that voice, you need to tell yourself, no not all guys are like that and Im going to find one that isnt!

  • Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.

    That's helped me out on more than one occasion.

    • lord as in god? in that case i would rather pray to satan..

    • I'm an atheist as well. It's just words that help me put things in perspective. Substitute Lucifer if it helps.

    • to be honest the only think that will help is meeting a guy thar proves me wrong..

  • Uhm... How about don't think that is all guys want. I only want to be in a relationship for the relationship. Of course sex is a plus but there doesn't have to be any. If I am dating you I dating you for you and not something else.

    • well its hard when all the sotries you hear is about one night stands or when guys say that the only reason they are in a relationship is because of sex, because thats the only thing a girl can bring to the table in a relationship etc. Yes, i do know that those are in miniority, but those are the guys i hear about the most, and i have met ny fair share of guys that was trying for a one night stand kind of things.. which only increased my stress about it. I try not to think like this, but its really hard

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    • I have a question for you, if you know it's a minority of guys who only want sex and nothing else, then why does it come across in your post that you're accusing all guys of this? I'm not trying to be confrontational or mean, I'm just curious is all.

    • im sorry, i wasn't trying to do so, i guess my English is bad.. but its like i said the guys that only want sex are more visable and verbal abiut it, and the most experience i had with guys was 1-2 years ago when i met a lot of those guys. This year i have met a lot of great guys, but this little voice in head says " you doesn't really like you, he only finds you attractive" so i self sabotage.. i think i have ruined several relationship with some great guys

What Girls Said 0

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