What's the best thing to do in this situation? Can you make some sense of this?

My best guy 'friend' (let's call him Bob) has been in love with me for 8 years, I've known about it for 3. I told him it's not mutual, and asked him if he'd like to part ways. He said no, then yes, then called me the next day crying, saying that was the worst idea. I am his only close friend.
2 years ago I got into a relationship with someone else, while living in another city. When Bob found out, he threatened to drive to our city and beat him up, but didn't do it. We are still together. For 2 years, Bob wouldn't even meet him. Luckily, we live together in another city, and my boyfriend iidn't let this affect our relationship.
A few months ago, Bob got a girlfriend (a girl he lost interest in when he met me). What he wanted was a fuck buddy thing, but she wanted more. She lives in another city and encouraged Bob to visit her. After he visited and they had sex, she told him she had a boyfriend. A few weeks after, her boyfriend broke up with her. Then she started hinting at wanting to move out of her shitty town and Bob offered to let her live in his 2-bedroom apartment, for free (he told me he 'felt bad' not offering this knowing he had some spare room).
Bob is still in love with me. He told me it's better that he's not in love with her cause this way maybe in 10 years I'll change my mind about him and we'll still have a shot.(?)
He told her the truth about his feelings for me in the beginning. First she tried to manipulate him into cutting ties with me, and now she's pretending to be fine with me. She's obsessed with meeting me. I take no pleasure in this meeting, especially given Bob's attitude towards my relationship and her obvious hypocrisy.
Soon she'll move in. Bob and I established I'd meet her in January, but she was here a few days ago and insisted that Bob ask me to come over. I told him I had work to do and genuinely couldn't go, on top of not wanting to. They kept insisting until 11 PM. The next day Bob was upset that I didn't go and that now she feels I'm avoiding her.


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  • You should have went