What would you do if something really bad might have happened, but you don't remember it?

Say there's roughly a year of time completely missing from your memory, from when you were a child. You remember plenty of things before it, but nothing from that year. Based on small things you've heard from your parents, you realize, over a decade later, that someone might have been doing something really bad to you. That there's a possibility that you forgot that year for a reason. And that, if it is what you're worried about, there's no way to fix anything. Justice can't be served. Nothing productive would come of it. But you can't be sure if it even happened, it's just a possibility.

So you can either decide not to worry, ignore the missing year and carry on with your life as it is... or you can try to find out for sure, and gain nothing but knowledge that might either put you at ease or totally f*ck you up.

What do you do?

  • Ignore the possibility, keep going as normal.
    Vote A
  • Look for answers.
    Vote B
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What Guys Said 3

  • The fact that somebody would forget a whole and have sort of a strange feeling about it already suggests that he/she is severely traumatized. This means that you are already completely fucked-up emotionally. In that case, I would DEFINITELY seek professional help. Regression is a very serious psychological defence mechanism that should be ignored. Opening up this deep hole and working on your trauma is very tough and challenging but once completed, you won't be fucked-up by the knowledge, you will be off much better mentally and emotionally. Think of it like this: regression is like having a huge wound, open wound on your stomach and simply swallowing tons of opiates so you won't feel any pain. You might feel happy in your dizzy opium-induced world but your body is still suffering. It's always better to go to the hospital and seek help, even if that might include some pain in the process of curing that wound.

    Also, IF a person is traumatized from an early childhood experience, he/she would feel that in some way. Not necessarily consciously, but in his/her way of thinking, feeling and acting. Severe trauma ALWAYS leads to abnormal behavior that is noticeable either by you or at least by your environment. For example somebody might have an obsession with his/her body, extreme forms of insecurity, unhealthy attitudes towards sexuality etc.. My mom is a psychologist and her colleague who works in the same practice once treated a girl who was so severely traumatized that she had developed a dissociative personality disorder (en.wikipedia.org/.../Dissociative_identity_disorder) These are conditions that should absolutely be treated.

    If however, you don't remember anything from that year but you feel completely fine and neither you nor your environment can detect any strange or abnormal behaviors or ways of thinking/feeling, chances are you aren't traumatized and you simply don't remember the things from that year.
    But generally speaking, it sounds suspicious and creepy that someone would remember anything before that year and lots of things after that year but nothing from that one year. It should at least be a cause for concern.

    • I'm actually already seeing a professional (unsure whether or not I want to bring this up with him), because of depression, anxiety, and a whole collection of unhealthy attitudes, and admittedly there's no family history for any of that, but still. These aren't exactly unusual problems, I think, so they could be unrelated to the missing year?

      I worry that if I do ask for help from my therapist, it'll turn out to be nothing, in which case I'd just be a neurotic, paranoid, attention-seeking bundle of crazy. Pretty much. And since I'm getting help for the problems I already know I have, is it excessive to try to dig up more issues?

      Sorry, I'm just... kind of lost right now. :/

    • No... I don't think that should be a problem. Think of a therapist as a doctor. If you happen to get in a car accident and you have a lot of different injuries, you're not gonna say to the surgeon "oh sorry, I feel so bad for you having already fixed my ribs and my skull and my shoulders... just leave the broken leg, it'll heal by itself". It's a therapist's job to help you when and where you need help and I don't think he/she will find.
      Also, you shouldn't feel ashamed of bringing up something that might be nothing. It's always good to try and talk about stuff that you don't feel right about somehow. Also, I think the way you say it to your therapist can make quite a big difference in how he/she will perceive you. If you just say something like "There's one more thing that I would like to talk about... I don't really know if it's actually important but I somehow have been feeling odd about it for quite a while" I doubt your therapist will think of you as neurotic.

  • i'd look for answers. if this were to happen it would appear you repressed some memories and i would want to know what it was that was repressed

  • i to dont remember a lot of thing from my childhood. when i thy to think back to toughs times the memory's are blank. i always explained it to being told i was epileptic as a child and the medications they had me on. whats funny though is when i stopped the medication on my own when i was 15. i never had another secure and i remember things after that. my grade improved but by the schools i was still labled as having a learning disability. untill my last year in school when they tested me with a very high IQ. but by this time i was so behind everyone else in school i didn't fit in.


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