I don't have a lot of love to give?

Anyone else feel this way?

Everyone talks about how they have all this love to give and are talking about having all these kids and pets and big families and whatnot... but I don't?

Like... it's emotionally exhausting to provide my SO with the amount of love (not always physical, mind you) he needs to feel appreciated. And he's started talking about marriage and kids and I'm just like... I don't have enough love to give to a child. It's all I can do to love him enough.

I know that sounds bad, but don't think I'm super selfish. I'm just not an affectionate person. I can't relate to people who have all this love. Like... I just don't?

I know, I'm a freak.

I love my SO to the moon and back but the idea of adding another person or thing (pet) into the mix that will demand my affection stresses me out. I don't believe I am capable of producing enough affection for more than one other peson.

The idea of having a child/family just makes me miserable. I feel that I will lose myself if I add to the number of people I'm expected to feel affection for.

And I know no one will understand so I don't know what to do :(


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What Guys Said 1

  • That's indeed quite odd because giving love is something that should come naturally, it shouldn't feel exhausting. For example when I show/give my girlfriend love, it doesn't feel exhausting. It feels revitalizing because there's something emotionally awesome about giving things (many people prefer giving gifts over receiving gifts) and because I know that for every bit of love I give my girlfriend, I will get at least the same amount back. I imagine it must be like that with children too. Children can be very exhausting at times but it can also be very beautiful and fulfilling at other times.
    To use an analogy, giving love shouldn't feel like oil or gas, it should feel like solar power. It shouldn't be bound to a certain amount you can "provide".
    However, people are different and if you feel that way, it's certainly better not to add anyone or anything to the mix. You probably know yourself best.


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