Revenge... Should I tell her boyfriend that she is cheating on him with multiple people?

LONG STORY... sorry.

So this is a messy situation, so I heard some rumors about this girl that was dating my closest friend at the time. The rumors where about her cheating on him with multiple people... anyway things got intense when everything was out in the open and because I didn't have any real evidence/how hurt he was by all this I backed off and apologized and really stretched to make it look like I was wrong and she was innocent... but I always had doubts.

A few months later they eventually broke up and he indirectly pointed towards what I did as the reason for the breakup and our friendship never recovered (we are like distant acquaintances now when we use to be like brothers)... are friendship is almost dead.

A year after their break up she contacted me, we started talking back and forth for awhile and we then met up a week later and things got heated/we fooled around (she basically threw her self at me). I was confused by it all but was interested in pursuing but she became incredible distant/passive aggressive. I found myself becoming very frustrated by what she was saying/doing and how she became an entirely different person... But things got really bad when I ran into her with another guy & everything she said to me after that incident was just disgusting & cruel.

That guy turned out to be her new "BF" that she had been seeing before she even contacted me AND I just found out she did the same thing to another close friend of mine (throw herself at him than run away, she even said the same lines that she said to me).

So, because she destroyed a friendship of mine, cost me a job (not explaining that one) messed with the head of another one of my friends and countless other things... should I get revenge?

***there's more to this story about what she did but I've already typed enough.***

  • Do nothing... you were right all along so walk away from this while you're still somewhat clean
    Vote A
  • Give her an ultimatum to come clean or expose her lies
    Vote B
  • Fuck that & fuck her! Send her new boyfriend a private email about what she's doing and how she is cheating on him... he deserves to know and she has it coming
    Vote C
  • Other...
    Vote D
  • Make things right another way, do the noble thing and try to mend not break.
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm... from the way you've given a broad picture here, it now feels like she's out there destroying herself because she can't trust herself anymore. She can't trust herself to open up to people, she can't trust herself to commit to a person. So while she's interested and playing bets that she will get in with one guy, she always runs away because that's what she's best at now. It's not that she's a bad person, it's just that she's a handful to be with cos she doesn't know how to deal with herself.

    I don't know if she thinks that unless she tries being with different guys, she won't know who's perfect for her. Or if she just doesn't understand that there's no perfect and you gotta compromise certain things at one point. Or, if you stretch it a bit, I don't know if she craves an abusive partner or someone who will keep her in line. I don't know if she thinks that's the only way she can actually dedicate herself to one person. Cos otherwise, this cycle is seems like it's gonna continue until she self destructs, and hurts all the people she's trying to get close to. Though it feels more like she's trying to get people to be close to her, so she'll have the upper hand in deciding if she wants to stay or not.

    She's seems to be passive-aggressive of the fearful-avoidant behavior-type. While she may be an awesome person to connect with and talk about your deepest side with, that's where it ends. You can only go to her for certain moments. Because otherwise, she is someone really confused, wanting something at certain phases and being dismissive at other times of the same thing. It's hard to be with such people unless you know where to hit their nerve and how to manage them when they themselves can't. You'd have to be quite unshakable yourself. And if you can't step up to be that manager, then the best bet is for you to just ignore and avoid her as much as you can. Because the moment she sees an opening with you, she'll come strolling in, and the moment it's getting inconvenient for her, she'll walk out not bothering about the mess behind her.

    One other possibiity: she could have a saviour complex. When she meets a new person, she might see something in them and gets them to open up, thinking she wants to and has the tools to save that person. But it's like a one-time offer. If you keep going to her craving for help, then it'll start putting her off because she'll want you to be self-sufficient. Eep.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Give her the opportunity to change

    • Didn't she technically have that opportunity when I initial heard rumors and confronted her about it when she was still seeing my friend?

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