How can I trust my aloof boyfriend?

I don't know how to trust my boyfriend. My negative thoughts and insecurities are clouding my judgment about him. I started to distrust him when I saw that he was liking photos of questionable women and photos of his ex. I complained about it, so he rarely does it now, however, it still worries me. I'm afraid he's going to break my heart, cheat on me or abandon me. Some of his actions don't help my thoughts either. For example, sometimes I only I hear from once or twice but then he disappears for the rest of the day. Then, if I text him he immediately responds with an excuse like, "Sorry, I've been asleep all day". When he doesn't text me I think he's cheating, talking to another girl or doesn't want me. He's reassured that he's not but I don't know. I'm obsessing about him. I'm constantly snooping on his social media accounts and worrying about what he's doing. I have issues with myself, which are contributing to my negative thoughts and unhealthy behaviors. So for the sake of myself and relationship, I'm receiving counseling. In the meantime, I want to know what I can do to trust my boyfriend?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Continue your Counseling, Continue to Not let your Guard down as his Girlfriend, but Don't... Harp or Drive yourself crazy unless you have More in Store with More Proof in your jello pudding. You may end up driving him away or into the arms of a Girl Online or Off.
    You say you are going to Therapy for 'Issues with myself,' and while doing so, this isn't Good for Yourself, Nor healthy in your relationship. This 'Obsession' can surely Drive a person to Drink and Not... Think.
    However, If you Do ever feel this 'Relationship' is Unworthy, Not Good for you, then give him his walking papers And... Know then what to do in your head and in your own Heart... Being Apart.
    Good luck. xx


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What Guys Said 3

  • If you continue to obsess and snoop in his affairs he will lose trust in you. The negative thoughts insist on proof that he's not cheating, which is impossible to satisfy. Trust is not knowing with certainty that he is not cheating. It's choosing to believe him even if you can never know for sure. So trust is not so much what you do as it is a choice. The only way to be certain that you will not be hurt by someone who cheated on you is to not be in a relationship. You have to choose whether to side with him or with the suspicious side of you.

  • How long have you guys been together?

    • Not long, 6 1/2 months

    • Are those excuses he gives you often? Cuz if they are I'd say he is up to something. 6.5 months is still kinda new and most couples are still in that obsessive stage with each other. I would try leaving him alone one day until he contacts you first. Then do it again the next and see how long it takes him to notice. If he acts like everything's cool still after that then you may have a problem.

  • Can't love another, until you can love yourself


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