Why is my life so shitty? How come I've never been truly likable?

I was picked on as a kid in school my whole childhood. I hated going to school because the kids always made me cry. I was also molested by my 16 year old neighbor when I was only 6 or 7 years old. He forced me to suck him many times and threated me not to tell anyone. My home life was never great either because my dad always picked on me for being really shy and scared and not having friends. He also gave me a lot of shit and made me stay in my room every day cause my grades weren't great due to being depresssed and also struggling to stay concentrated. He gave my mom problems too and now they're divorced. I also can't get a girl even if my life depended on it because I'm ugly af I suppose. Or else, I would have at least kissed a girl by now. I don't know why my life has been like this. Why did kids never like me when I was a kid? Why did my dad never like me even though he loved me? Why have girls never liked me? I'm just so afraid of being alone. I have friends but they will all go back to their girlfriends and wives in their lives.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I will tell you something I think you should take it and use it for the rest of your life that has helped me.

    "If you don't love yourself... no one will"
    "The energy you give out will then come back to you"

    Even if you have to fake your own happiness, this is your life. You need to start living your life and be open to the possibilities. Stop doubting yourself. Don't live in fear. Grab friends go to the bar get typsy and just start talking to girls. practice with the bartender. You really have to stop bringing the past up. forgive and forget my friend. Things will get better

    • I've actually approached girls a lot. Many in bars and clubs but they just aren't responsive. Being ugly doesn't help. I once asked a question asking how I look on this website and only 1 girl answered. She said I look nice but apparently, she answered that to every person who asked a question on how do I look. I've been faking my happiness my whole life. My friends have no clue about my personal issues.

    • Show All
    • I don't have time to seek professional help. I have to be focused on my career. And if I wasn't ugly, wouldn't have girls on this site told me that when I asked a how do I look question?

    • And even in this serious question, you were the only girl that gave a shit about my situation.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh my goodness! You have been through some real crap, man.

    Have you ever confided in someone about this? A close friend or a family member? This isn't something you can continue to fight on your own any more, you've done enough., You certainly require support now. Please don't hesitate to seek it.

    I hope things improve for you. :)

    • I've never told anyone. I don't know how to tell anyone about this. And no one supports a guy in his late 20s by the way.

    • Please don't say that. I have been through similar stuff, although not to the same extent as you. And there ARE people who are willing to lend an ear and perhaps even offer support to you.

      This is a question I asked, just read it. You'll know that my situation is somewhat similar to yours:-

      And I'm 29 as well.

    • No. I don't have anyone to lend an ear about this. Don't wanna tell my parents because they'll be hurt and don't wanna tell my friends because it's too shameful. And yeah, yours sound similar but just the things I've gone through when I was a kid were horrible.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Hey. I've had a really tough life as-well... There are a lot of things I could say...

    There are a couple of very important things.
    Make sure you have a job if you can get one that is satisfactory.
    Use the money to find a nice place to rent.
    Make sure to get a job by studying or something if you can at this time.
    Get away from all negative people. Cut them out of your life - they're not your friends and they're not your family.
    They may appear and act like friends and family but you'd know better... stay away from them as much as possible - if you can never interact with them ever again - they and their negative influence will fade away from you life forever.
    If there are family members that you want to keep in touch with - do it, but expect there to be a struggle...
    You can counter-act the effect of struggling with those family members by having a good group of friends or acquaintances: kind and understanding people and maybe generous.
    Do not visit or look at or listen to depressing like radio and some TV programs like news.
    Eat and drink well.
    Make sure your sleep is on point.
    Try over-sees volunteer work to get your mind off your current life.
    Understand the dark side of life... This is probably one of the hardest things for people to understand and the most painful and horrific. ... Not a lot of people can teach you this... There are people who can...
    Learn MMA or something to boost your confidence. If you don't like your instructor - boot him and get another.
    Find a gym - the presence of other people and weightlifting will make you feel better.
    Try yoga or some kind of class like that.
    If you're ugly - don't worry. You're just not the right fit. Millions of people find you ugly and millions of people find you attractive. It's statistics. If you don't believe me then you haven't been exposed to enough people.
    Go on You-tube and type in questions in the search box and learn socialization skills. It will expand your horizons and alleviate the darkness in your mind.

    • What you experienced was life. You were dealt a bad hand. You're not alone. Millions of people were dealt hands just like yours and millions of people were dealt good hands.
      It's up to you to decide how to move forward.
      Try counseling or therapy - it will really help you. A word of important advice. There are a lot of naive professionals... if you don't like whomever was assigned to you - boot them and get a new one. If you don't - they will make you go crazy - seriously - beware.

    • It is OK to feel emotions - it's OK to cry and/ ask for help - it makes you a brave person and it will move you along any emotional blocks you have.
      Be careful when confronting experiences in your life - it's can be just as dangerous as walking into a dark cave. If you walk into a dark cave - you don't know if there is ground beneath you and you might fall into a hole - be very careful and I suggest you do a lot of writing to help you think clearly - think of it as a safety rope. Believe me you're not the only one who's had it bad - I promise you - you are not the only one.
      Be a good person - the person you wish you had to help you.
      Beware of a lot of people in the world- they act and believe that they're good people but they are just naive. They may have a great life or they might think they're helping you or they might think they're good people - get away from them - they're some of the most dangerous people because they really believe they're good people.

    • Actually they're very self-centered fools. Beware. Your road to hell is paved with their good intentions. The world can be a very nice place to live in when it's good but when it's bad it can be a very bad place to live in.
      Because you've been through this - you're smarter than the average person and you have more potential; but you also have more responsibility.
      Find your resources and you'll get excited, but move along slow; because you don't want to trip and fall.
      It will really hurt if you're already weak and you fall flat on your face. Most people will not be understanding and will not really care about your experiences. Be very discriminating - be way more discriminating than them.
      After awhile you'll start to see the fruit of your labor and you'll be able to taste it.

  • Not gonna lie man you have a shitty life but i think you can fix it , you're in your mid twenties and it can be fixed , look you said you have friends right? go to clubs and hook up with girls dont care , drink a couple of beers and start dancing with girls , rejection is a fact it happens to everyone, all you need is a confidence boost , new haircut and wardrobe, fix it , it can be done.

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