I write all kinds of novels every single day, it's kind of like an escape from reality. Problem is that the more I write the more I hate myself and my life in the real world. And it's honestly become so bad that I don't even want to live because of it.
I don't know what to do because I'm consumed by my writing, and I get nothing done because of it.
Most Helpful Guy
If you have something that you're this passionate about you should try and turn it into your job so you can spend hours on it every day and you're not wasting time. Have you sent anything you have written in to a publisher or have you had anyone look at your stuff who knows a lot about writing? You should see if you have any potential to do this professionally. Of course even if it's your job it shouldn't consume your entire life, you should not use it as a escape from reality. You should try and be happy about the fact that you can create great worlds with your imagination but you don't hve to campare this world to the imaginary ones. Reality is never going to be as amzing as something you dream about because reality has to follow rules, in your imagination everything you don't like or is time consuming annoying etc. can just disappear.
No hard work is needed you just achieve things. Anyway if you keep wishing for the perfect world you will never be happy, but if you accept this world for what it is and are grateful for the oportunity to even dream about the perfect world then you can be happy. It's a matter of perspective. I'm happy most of the time even if my life is not going well it's just because of the way I look at things. I'm grateful for small things and take in the beauty around me. I also have a pretty good imagination but I'm not pissed at the world for not living up to my dreams. Maybe you should talk to a psychologist, I wasted 5 years at university and I found out (10 days ago) my lack of self discipline (I'm lazy as fuck too) and my disorganisation etc, were a part of me having adhd. Don't be too hard on yourself. For me the internet is pretty much what writing is for you. I spent ages watching tv good shows, movies, anime, youtube videos, and I read books too. Right now I'm watching some korean dramas and western tv shows aswell. I'm really into eSports and play League of Legends myself. I spend so much time online but even if I know I'm wasting time I don't hate myself. I will also try and turn my interests into a job but it's a bit harder youtube channels don't actually pay that much :(. And I haven't even started yet cause my computer is shit atm. I just take one step at a time and do real life stuff that needs to get done, not all of it maybe but some and then the next day I do some more, just try. Anyway I'm rambling I hope at least 1 part of my answer was in some way helpful to you and please don't hurt yourself.0
Most Helpful Girl
Writers sometimes live in a perpetual state of anger, darkness, pain, sadness/depression, psychosis (in extreme cases) for our craft. can't be afraid to express your "demons"/"wounds"/"heart". Whilst also being able to relate and connect with people. It can be a struggle for some.1