Everyone agrees mail order brides are more prone to abuse, right?

A friend of mine recently got engages and some guys made some mail order bride jokes, implying he is that undesirable that that's the only way for him to get married

Pretty soon that conversation shifted to a debate about the benefits of foreign and what's so bad about it. Well what's so bad about it is that those are more prone to abuse. The subset of people who engage in those kinds of relationship is highly pre selected. The women tend to be young and needing help in some way. The men tend to be less desirable than average, having failed at other relationships. And then those women come here, no support system, often speaking little English, no money and nowhere to go. It makes them easy victims. And ultimatley bad people are looking for easy victims

And I know that because I volunteered in a women's shelter last summer. I speak russian and polish, I helped handeling those cases and it's tough, because there's no one there to help them.

So that's what I told them, I didn't think it was a controversial opinion, didn't even think it needed to be said. But appearently the guys thought it was an outragous claim. Saying not all men are abusive. Of course not, I never said that.
And that I'm just jealous foreign women have to offer men more and stuff like that.

I don't really understand why they reacted that way? What I say is common sense, right? That being far away from home, alone and without rescources makes you an easy target


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not an outrageous claim but it's not the majority of these kinds of relationships. Since she would be a legal immigrant she will have the full protection of the law if she would report abuse. Contrast that with an illegal immigrant who would be in fear of deportation if she would report abuse.

    What is most common though is the guy getting abused emotionally. She says she loves him, but once she gets her permanent residency papers, good bye. Divorce papers filed. He served his purpose and is dumped. This happens all the time.


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What Guys Said 3

  • If you're trying to sell yourself into a marriage, you're acting like property, so don't expect to be treated the most humanly...

  • Sheesh, they were just messing around. You're looking into it way too much.

  • The women are easy marks for abuse, and the men are easy marks for green cards and cash before being dumped after losing half their stuff.

    Pretty high risk all around.


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