I am getting sick of being treated like an afterthought by women... how can I change that?

I'm always in a constant state of change whether it be physically or mentally but every once in a while I get in a comfortable spot and when the time comes to move on again it's usually met with dismay and a unwillingness to do so.

So in the past couple months I started changing again (my appearance mainly... well that is the most noticeable besides the slump of depression I fell into because of some personal things that occurred - so yeah, my mind has been changing as well) BUT I went from attracting the wrong type to nothing at all since I've started the change and I find myself just becoming more and more frustrated... Because nobody likes making changes and not seeing different results or even worse negative effects.

I feel like I'm jumping through hoops for people (both women and men) and the moment I realize this I usually stop because my pride won't let me continue but it's usually met with the attitude by the other person that feels like "well I never cared anyway, I just wanted to see how many you'd jump through" which is just as upsetting or more because if I didn't care I wouldn't have even bothered in the 1st place & I just get hung up on it in the end anyway.

I think one of the biggest problems is that what I find sexually attractive and mentally attractive are on opposite spectrums - it's like I want to date a librarian who is very opinionated/informed but moonlights as a stripper on the weekends - so I'm conflicted.

I'm also getting sick of being the one who has to carry the conversation with most of the people I talk to it's like I might as well talk to a wall if all I'm getting is vapid responses with minimal effort after pouring out my soul. I don't know what to do, I'm just sick of being angry & frustrated all the time. And I feel myself just becoming more and more antiwoman which is an ugly attitude for anyone to have. I don't know if there is any worthwhile advice to be given after my rambling but if you can I'd like to hear it...


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not sure... I sure am a person who is pretty on my own, people know that and I usually am left alone. But it's those real close friends who I've known for years, like they are Family, who would just message me out of the blue, just to check up on me, and me doing the opposite.
    But it feels like I've grown apart with the rest, because we all went our own ways to chase our ambitions.

    Just remember that there are people worth talking to, even if you have to message first. I'm one of those people who usually doesn't message first, but those close friends don't seem to mind. Once the chat started, we have a good time :)

    Don't start hating on women :p Just some people can be like that, doesn't matter the gender. Keep meeting new people, making new friends, if you want it to change, you fight

    • last 2 girls I was with played head games - one of them was obvious from the start (so there was no surprises) the other one was waaayyy more devious and deceptive. Both have skewed my view pretty good, and I find myself with a indifference that I can't seem to shake... My only saving grace is art but when I have a bad day with that the sky might as well be falling.

      As much as I want to quit I don't know how to. I get down and sometimes stay still but eventually I become too restless to do nothing so I start tinkering hoping something will change but nothing ever really does sometimes it will a little or sometimes it really feels like things will get better but usually doesn't.

      I feel like if the day comes where things do finally fall into place I'll be so indifferent that I won't really care... oh well, whatever.

    • When the first one is being obvious, and you don't want it, you just leave and move on though :o

    • Keep fighting

Most Helpful Guy

  • Women treat all men like shit eventually.

    Falsity, treachery, ingratitude... these are the qualities of women

    • That sounds more like the qualities of an asshole.

      I know it's hard and I'm as well losing faith in this but you need to approach everyone as a different person (regardless of race/age/gender... etc) because they are BUT we all have bad tendency of acting the same even when some of those qualities are garbage.

      A lot of women are shitty people but I know just as many shitty guys, we just need to sift through it sadly and not let the shit get on you.

    • Women are the biggest assholes...

    • They certainly can be, they have different style when going about it but the way of conduct has been becoming more uniform for girls & boys. Men's style of being an asshole is less tactful (unless it's the corporate world and a business deal but that's different and more cutthroat) while most women can be more passive aggressive or bluntly to your face (but that's usually clubslut fuckgirls who act like that) most men lack care unless it's planned.

      Louise CK or Bill Burr had a funny bit on this about how if men acted like women they'd get punched in the face all the time.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Your thought process... see a counsel and get screened for borderline personality disorder. I'm not even kidding. No your not crazy. But what you're describing, and the patterns, it reminds me of myself, and I have borderline. Luckily, mine is very mild. I might just be overly sensitive to the traits but it doesn't hurt to get it checked out

    • What traits am I exhibiting of borderline personality disorder?

    • You never responded back, I looked it up... yeah I can see myself fitting into some of the symptoms BUT that's a pretty bold statement you made based purely on 5 paragraphs about issues with the opposite sex that I'm having.

    • Sorry I logged out for a few days. Like I said, I'm very sensitive to the traits and the type of thinking, the way of communicating, is different. Bold? Possibly. Most of my traits come out when dealing with the opposite sex.

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