Whenever I fall for a girl I always get so insecure immediately , how do I stop being so insecure about these types of things?

its happened with 3 girls so far all of which i've been really close to, the first girl we were best friends for about a year but my insecurity got really bad and i guess she said i changed and now we barely talk but are sorta becoming normal friends again and during that time i decided fuck it im going to hook up with a random girl and then i did but i also ended up falling for her shortly after and took her to grad and i got really insecure because she only wanted to be friends after we hooked up a couple times but to this day we are still best friends and she tell me im her favourite person she knows and i knew the only way i wouldn't scare her away was to fall for someone else, so i tried falling for soo many other girls i hooked up with but none worked and now after about a year i finally did... with one of my 3 best friends and the problem with it is she has a boyfriend even tho they are about to break up soonish i can't help but to want her and i know she likes me but its just she is in a relationship and now im scared im going to scare her away because i get so upset and emotional and i overthink things that end up making me act weird sometimes and im pretty sure that is what makes them drift apart so im really trying my hardest to act normal but its hard and im trying to numb my emotions to none but i dont know how.
These are some things that might let you understand what im feeling, any ideas on how i can help this? like it gets really bad but i really dont want to lose any other friends like i did the first girl. the second and this new girl really matter to me and im extreamly happy i was able to not scare the second girl away and im still her favourite person but now im worrying about girl #3 and it really sucks because she is one of my 3 best friends that include the second girl and my guy best friend.
Don’t get too hooked on her, She doesn’t really care about you, You’ve got to keep her interested, Don’t be too vulnerable or you’ll just wind up getting hurt.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't. You learn to manage your insecurity not terminate it.

    • any ideas on how to go about it?

    • Just remember that everyone is human and autonomous. You really can't control the outcome. Trying hard is not going to get you anywhere since it is their decision, not your effort, that makes them stay.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm just like you. I got dumped for my insecurities.

    • that thought honestly scares me, because i feel like the only way i can fix my insecurities is by finally dating someone instead of just hooking up, but thinking about that as a possibility is freaky

    • Show All
    • I know, I'm kidding. I wish it were.

    • i know haha and yeah things would be simple af

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