I think I'm starting to give up on women?

I've had many more negative experiences than positive experiences with women in my life up to this point. Back in high school, I dated this girl sophomore year who I saw smiling at me all the time and I asked if she liked me and we ended up dating for two months, it was so simple and awesome, but we decided that we just weren't quite feeling it for each other after a while (we were only 16 after all). Now I'm 21 and haven't dated or kissed a girl since then, and I don't even remember what it feels like anymore. College has been absolutely brutal in that department, the girls are stuck up for the most part (doesn't help that we have a 3-1 guy to girl ratio). The ones that seemed sweet that I was attracted to ended up leading me on and not being nice at all, and I started to feel quite jaded by it all. I found that lately when girls have given me dirty looks/things along that line I've been taking it too personally because I'm just so angry and hurt from all the bad times. Why can't another nice girl just smile at me and literally tell me she likes me like back in high school? It was so simple and she ended up being nice, but we just weren't fit for each other after a while. Now everything is so complicated, whenever I'm nice and straightforward I get treated like dirt and I'm sick and tired of it and I wish I could give up. Sometimes I even wish that I was asexual. I hate developing crushes on girls that I know won't like me/will just use me for homework help or whatever it is. Can't wait to graduate and move on from this environment. It sounds pathetic but I feel like I've waited long enough to have some affection come my way. In the meantime I've spent a lot of time playing golf/disc golf (my 2 favorite hobbies) with friends to keep me happy in my spare time that I'm not studying/working. I'm really good at both and they give me confidence, whereas girls kill my confidence. My mom probably won't be too happy that she'll never be a grandma :(


What Girls Said 1

  • I see this being the future, I. e. a lot of single people, many who have given up. I see so many people who have given up, and I have given up, as well.

    I do have to say, though, that a lot of the guys I see who have given up really just seem to not want to put any work in and don't want to be challenged, and you seem to be one of those guys. Quality women are the hardest to get, but it takes being a quality man. You're probably in your early 20s, and what I see with younger guys is a lot of you don't understand that most women still believe a guy is supposed to make all the moves. That one girl who let you know she was interested was fairly rare. At least 90% of women don't approach men and don't believe they should. If you don't want to accept that and do what women expect of you--I'm not saying it's right, I'm just telling you how it is--then, yes, give up.

    You honestly haven't even had the really bad experiences that cause a lot of people to give up, like I have. Like I said, you just seem to want it all to come easy. I see a lot of men with low-quality women, and this is why--they go with the easy-to-get women, and then wonder why these women cheat, have slept with a bunch of guys, are ghetto, have baby daddies, treat you like garbage, etc. I'm not defending women, either--I date women, as well, and I have been treated like crap by even high-quality women, and that's why I give up along with the fact that I KNOW I don't want to put in the work it takes to find the right person. But I don't want to put in the work because, after my experiences as someone in her mid-30s, I don't see it being worth it. You're a little too young and inexperienced to feel that way. After all, the majority of people who do a little work DO find what they're looking for, but I have too many factors working against me to think it'll happen to me--again, you're too young to think that.

    • Nah I've had some pretty shitty experiences, just didn't have enough characters left to go into them haha. I feel that every girl I find attractive and try to talk to just brushes me aside, there's never any positive body language or good signs, so I just stop and I'm over it at this point so that's why I'm leaning towards giving up

What Guys Said 2

  • I gave up years ago.
    I've been able to study intensely, develop a huge array of talents and skills, and I volunteer regularly.

    But it isn't for everyone. It's what people call "lonely", though I can't say I've experienced too much of that. Moreover, the heart wants what the heart wants, and it may not let you.

    Good luck man.

    • Yeah man I get that. I could definitely see myself working my job and in my spare time getting as good as I possibly can at golf and disc golf (especially regular golf) for the rest of my life because I'll be consuming myself with things I love to do, but it's really tough to hold those desires back forever. However, when you've been snake bitten by it for years on end, it probably gets easier to throw in the towel after a while

    • In addition to all the golf and reasons not to be interested in mean girls that just take you for granted, the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. there's a hellova lot worse things in this world then developing a rich inner life.

  • I'm 24 and havn't give up, alltough I never kissed a girl.
    You shouldn't give up.