How to handle low self worth, when I dont really have anyone to talk to?

I regret ever touching 99% of the guys i have ever touched. Guys didn't really notice me before i was 18, so when that time came i had really low self esteem, and i got involved with guys that were just awful. On top of that i have never had a boyfriend nor seriously dated anyone. The longest i have ever been involved with a guy was for 3 month. If i wasn't so lonely at the time i would have broken it off with him after 2 weeks, there were obvious signs he wasn't interetsed in anything serious.

So all this stuff with guys have made me feel like im not interesting enough hence my low self worth. In general i feel like haven't accomplished anything which make me feel even worse. I feel like i have nothing to show for, im just a student who have few friends, no guys interested in her, bad grades and low selfesteem.

On top of that whenever other people get something i want it makes me feel like shit because i feel like their success is a reflection of my failure. The fact that my younger sister is dating someone right now really hurts me, because i just see it as a good example of everything im not (loving, interesting, funny, likable) aka im not those things hence no boyfriend or many friends.

im sure im not alone about this, but its really hard. My relationship with my sister is worse now because of the dating, because of what i mentioned earlier and the fact that she went from putting me as one of the most important things in her life to me be being on of the very least important things in her life.

I know there is light at the end of the tunnel and i have a lot to work on, but on top of all my problemes i feel embarassed to even have problems. At the age of 21 i shouldn't be so miserable, i should be having fun with friends and dating , and not crying because I feel like im not good enough.

Anyone been in the same situation, who can offer some advice on how to move on and because stronger?


Most Helpful Guy

  • first off quit thinking you have to be worth something, second you really need to decide on what you want in life and from what I've read its not guys cause you would of put some effort into them and your not (loving, interesting, funny, likable) no ones going to help you on this,, but you.

    • i want a good education and a good job hence me going to uni, and i want good friends and i do want a loving relationship. Im always trying to be attentive towards my friends, i enjoy joking around and by the reactions i get people do find me funny, and how likable I am is hard to tell for myself. Being a good person is always something i try to do, i dont thing im a bad person

Most Helpful Girl

  • Everyone can change their life whenever they want...

    What others see in you is what you show/represent about yourself. Maybe you should try and get out of the negativity you're living in and stop comparing your life with other people's lives. Their sucessul relationships/lives are not a reflection of your failure. We all make mistakes. What makes you think that those people that you see haven't been in situations where they had low selfworth or low selfesteem and felt miserable at some point?

    It is in your hands to turn your life around and start having a positive outlook on life.

    • im trying, and i have improved if i compare myself from 2 years ago, but i still have a long way to go. It helps that im finally going to study something im really interested in, i hope hat will give me that extra boost to ge the grades and self esteem i really want and need.. but thats also 3-4 months too

    • to* filler

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Take that anger and that fear and fight back. Work on improving yourself first. You dont need a guy to have fun and be happy. Find yourself first then find a guy. He'll come along soon enough.

    • I dont know how to fight back.. i try to put myself out there, see things for how they really are, workout to feel good about myself..

    • I am sure you do. But focus one thing at a time. Are you happy with your life EXCLUDING guys? Maybe it's put all your focus on your studies or work. Maybe you want to get a model body. Whatever it is. Guys will come and guys will go. You'll find someone someday

  • You don't need anyone to talk to for this.

    • well obviously.. i wouldtn have written this if i could handle it myself

What Girls Said 1

  • The lower you place your expectations the lower you bring yourself down.

    • sorry, im not sure what you mean

    • It is okay! You said "you got involved with guys that were just awful". This, while it sucks, you can see is a learning experience. I know it is hard to wait for a good guy to come around, but it is sooooooo worth it. There are good guys out there, but you have to raise your expectations of the men you surround yourself with, and maybe even change the things you surround yourself with. Things that bring you up not down :) You can do it. You just have to remember you are the prize. And you are living your life for you, not others