Quarter Life Crisis: I feel like I'm shutting down at 23?

I don't know if I'm have a quarter life crisis or what. It's happened before when I felt overwhelmed by everything I had going on, but this time, I'm not really doing anything.

I'm a first year teacher who made it to my first summer of freedom and I feel lost. My days are usually so busy that I can't slow down enough to accomplish what I need for myself. It's always me busting my rear for my profession and barely remembering to take a shower. Now that I have that time for the first time in my life, I'm spending it on the couch, having a marathon of Mad Men because frankly, I don't know how to be outside of busy.

I've recently began dating two guys and I'm so torn about it. I've been nit-picking our interactions and driving myself crazy about our dates/things they've said and done because I'm not used to having all this time to think.

I packed up my bags and drove to the country, where my parents live. I'm currently on an air mattress in their living room, typing my heart away on GAG. This is because not long after I got my first place "of my own" out of college, they extended their bathroom into my bedroom that doesn't exist anymore. Lol.

I just feel this sense of being overwhelmed by nothing. Is that even possible? I'm overwhelmed by having all this free time and it's eating away at my conscious thought process, making me an overanalyzing freak who has no better way to spend her time than thinking about the guys I'm dating and eventually shutting down to where I want to do nothing.

I've literally not texted both guys back and they probably hate me right about now, as their texts were all from yesterday and it's about to be day two of nothing from me. I just frozen, shut off, and like I'm shutting down to protect myself from something I don't quite understand.

What the hell is going on? Quarter life crisis?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well for starters, don't feel like you're alone or you're the only one who's been there. I've been there too, I think a lot of people (especially in this day and age) go through it. We live in a world that's so much different than any time before... Everything moves so fast, it's 24/7/365, constantly connected to EVERYTHING by cell phones and the internet. Don't discount the effect this all is going to have on the human mind, it's a LOT to be processing and dealing with. Feeling overwhelmed is only natural.

    It sounds like you are needing some kind of time management system that will help you deal with everything that's eating away at your attention.
    Maybe it's a daily / weekly schedule that you adopt and stick to... Maybe it's getting better at saying "No" to people so you don't overload yourself... Maybe you plan your upcoming week every Sunday evening and schedule time for relaxation and socializing, and treat it like it was an important meeting that couldn't be rescheduled or put off.

    One thing you might want to try is meditation. Don't worry about making it anything fancy or formal, just find a quiet space where you can sit still and focus on your breathing for 5-10 minutes un-interrupted and allow your thoughts to settle down. There are smartphone apps you can download that might help (Headspace is great, I've been using one called 'Stop, Breathe & Think' that's available for Android... not sure about iOS).

    Another great thing to do when you're feeling like this is to get a notebook and a pen and just write... Write whatever comes to mind, just empty out all the thoughts going through your head and put them on paper. Write until there's nothing left. Don't worry about spelling or neatness or anything, and you can shred the papers or burn them or throw them away when you're done. Somehow just the act of putting your thoughts and concerns on paper has a very therapeutic effect, you'll probably sort out some things that have been on your mind, other unimportant clutter will be untangled and let go, almost like organizing and cleaning your computer drive.

    As far as the guys your dating, send them a courtesy text and let them know you're at your parents and you're taking a mini-vacation from everything including your cell phone and not to expect any texts or calls for a few days while you unwind and spend time with family. At least this way you're not being rude and blowing them off, and they'll know not to expect any contact for a few days.



Most Helpful Girl

  • looks like you're overwhelmed by the change in routine
    i'd try to structure your time so you won't spend so much time ruminating


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Join a club. Do yoga, some martial art, an art class, a sports league or anything you think you'd enjoy doing.

    Find a good book to read.

  • i have it, too


What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Loading... ;