If your parents compared you to your brother/sister would it affect how much you could study?

Or is that based entirely on your capability and has nothing to do with other people?

I remember how horrible my parents were to me versus my sister. They would imply I was dumb, say I don't know anything, say I couldn't do stuff, the list goes on and on. On top of that, my sister was a bitch who enjoyed all that attention and would feel better about herself watching me suffer.

Interestingly, I got into the same program my sister did twice. It was a really really challenging program, and required an entrance average of at least a B+.

When I went there and I saw all that work, I just froze. I couldn't get that fear out of me because I did have something to lose. If there was a possibility that I really wasn't that smart it would prove my parents and my sister right and I didn't want that.

I ended up leaving that program (this is without doing badly in any components or giving any tests). I was just too scared.

It made me wonder if perception becomes reality sometimes.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • My mom was never involved in my academic life.


What Girls Said 1

  • Yes I was compared to my siblings a lot when I was growing up and I think it just motivated me to do better. I'm very competitive. I feel that being compared to someone can make you doubt yourself and influence your self fulfilling profecy.

    • The problem was, that it was the same program.

      It's one thing to be compared when it's like your sister is an engineer, you should be an accountant.

      It's another to literally put two people in the exact same program with the exact same set of courses and just sit back and say, so she was able to do it and get into 'x' firm, so you should do it too.

      Even if there is something you're struggling with, you won't seek help with that kind of mentality and that's what caused this whole thing to begin with

    • I understand we were in very similar situations but at the end of the day just do what makes you happy and explain to your parents you are unique.

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