To feel or not to feel?

I could care less whether I live or die. I'm going to die eventually just like every once else so what's the point? I don't know if I could do it myself simply because I'd be afraid I'd screw it up and make it a lingering, painful death instead of quick. But I also feel I just wish I'd be diagnosed with cancer or get hit by a car so it can all finally be over. I feel lonely and have to have background noise from the tv on and/or music, to drown out the silence and drown the loudness of my thoughts. This world is so screwed up and filled with uncaring people. People just jump from relationship to relationship without a care in the world for the one they left behind or the vows they took or the children involved so marriage is ridiculous. Religion is all about hatred towards one another, each group fighting over how we all got here and dictating everyone's life because if they don't they deem them unworthy and going to hell or some form of punishment. Everyone I know either judges them for their beliefs of where we came from and their lifestyle and their appearance. Everyone I know destroys each other with vicious words and break each others hearts, forgetting about all the love they shared before and that they are a person with feelings. And yet they all still have someone and I am alone. So I am slowly sinking into numbness though I still feel sad and pain. Is this normal to feel this way or do I need to do something about the way I feel?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Your story basically just deep down, boils down to that you're lonely. You dont have sense of purpose and or no one to care for. Felt not cared by anyone.. Everything around you is pintless. People are terrible to people, religion is crap etc...

    Some people feels the same way as you do.. But some of them try and make change for the better. Some see no point and just want to finish it all up and pass away.. It all depends on you on which path you choose.

  • I totally relate to everything you said but don't kill yourself, you will find someone that makes life worth living. I'll be expecting a fruit basket when that part of your life begins.


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