What is best to say to someone who is grieving?

On the 4th of July a coworker in a different departments wife was killed when she was walking on the sidewalk by a vehicle. They had just celebrated their 39th wedding anniversary on the 2nd. My heart is just broken for him. He always talked about her and how the silly things she would do that made him mad I laughed of course. You could tell how much he loves her. I've heard of his texts about his hearts in pieces and how he never thought he would have to live without her. He hasn't came back to work yet but I need some guidance as to what to say when he does come back? I want him to know that I'm here and will talk to him but scared of asking to many questions or having it be awkward.


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is nothing you can say that will make up for his loss. You share your thoughts briefly and sincerely but dont dwell on what you think you know about his relationship. And dont pressure yourself to say something to help. Being a friend and being sincere is all you can do.

    • I know nothing will bring her back but I just feel so awful for him, so what do I say? I'm so sorry for your loss I'll be here whenever you want to talk about anything?

    • I think thats all you can say. Sometimes its not the words that speak.

    • Also, your companies hr department is ip to speed with whats going on with him. Coordinate with your coworkers and collaborate with your hr team on a message or communication from his coworkers back through hr. Come at him thoughtfully from a few different directions. Depending on your company and your hr people they may have some insight on any help he needs and may be willing to help coordinate it or add to it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • My father last year died and i was heartbroken. He was my father and my best friend. No words of comfort helped me to feel better , but I valued and appreciated them very much from everyone

    . People just hugging me and being a shoulder to lean on when I wanted to pour out my heart meant so much to me.

    Small gesturues such as going for a walk , or out for a coffee to let me know people cared and wanted to be there for me. Even if I didn't take them up on the offer their kindness and eagerness to help was never forgotten

    Sometimes all you need is someone's presence and a hand to hold. Even if they have no words of comfort to offer. I look back now on all those who genuinely cared , and i get great comfort now just knowing I wasn't alone during such a sad time

    The smallest of things mattered the most such as a hug , and a sincere listening ear.


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