Is it okay to give up on looking for a partner?

22 years old now, still have yet to kiss a girl. Going to get my Masters degree in Mechanical Engineering this coming year, and I have hobbies that give me loads of confidence (and at times make me feel on top of the world) that I do in my spare time. And some decent friends that I hang out with occasionally as well. However, I've yet to meet a girl who hasn't ultimately treated me like trash (outside of my family). I develop crushes on girls in my classes, and they use me or simply do not reciprocate the feelings. They seem interested, and then out of the blue start ignoring me, or say I'm a really sweet guy and fun to work with, but nothing more. It seems to me that I'm much happier making money and spending it on myself, and have my hobbies keep me confident and appreciative of the life I have than to constantly be downed by women who aren't into me. It's a waste of time, and makes me feel bad about myself. I want a woman to love but I've been able to be without one for my entire life so maybe it should stay that way. I'm past the point of frustration, and will probably end up hiring a pro at some point so that I can at least experience sex. I don't know, I'm kind of reaching the point of apathy. I used to pay way too much attention to attractive girls, only to have them use me for attention or scoff at me for even thinking I have a chance. Maybe most girls my age are just horrible people. I'm leaning towards just swearing it off for a while, and maybe something will hit me and change my mind when I'm older. I'm just trying to give myself the best opportunity to live a happy life without feeling heartbroken. If only I was asexual, I would be indifferent about all of this sexual stuff (duh), which is much better than never having experienced a single positive out of it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Its like trying to find your keys. You may have an idea, or know exactly, where they are; but looking for them always makes them harder to find. The more time it takes to find them the more flustered you get and the less likely they are to come to you. Sometimes you could be looking right at them, but you're so flustered and focused you don't even notice them. a lot of the time we only find what we want after we stop looking for it. Sometimes its right where you're looking.

    At any rate you should't be LOOKING because you're just stressing yourself out over something that will eventually happen on its own, letting it stress you out makes you less likely to find a partner, even if the right girl is right there in front of you. I hope this helps, I've struggled with relationships too and it helps me. :)

    • Thanks! It's just really frustrating when you feel that you're a well put together guy, and all of your friends have girlfriends/have had girlfriends and you are the only virgin that you know

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    • Okay, well I'm definitely not looking for someone right now then haha

    • If it does happen, she's going to have to come to me because I don't foresee myself being able to "be on the prowl" ever again. My dad thinks it's weird when he comments on how hot a girl in public looks and I just kinda ignore him. I just try to shut out the idea of finding someone due to the past experiences. Never having success = little to no believe = little to no motivation. I'm starting to find my happiness elsewhere, and women is not that source. I love my mom, aunt, cousins, and little sister very much but otherwise I'm feeling pretty done. Again, I could have an epiphany at some point, but like I said to the other girl on this post, it's kinda common sense to stop

Most Helpful Guy

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm just ganna share an opinion based on reading the title only lol
    No don't give up hang in there buddy im sure u will find someone great one day

    • Thanks, but I'm not sure I even want to anymore

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    • Oh ok well do whatever makes you happy Hun 😘

    • Thanks <3

What Guys Said 3

  • Dude you're 22 and talking about giving up? Finding a partner shouldn't even be a priority. First get everything settled in your life. Once you've accustomed yourself with it your confidence will amp up, then women are going to notice you and you won't even be worrying about it.

    • I agree, but it's kind of a thing where I feel that I've already been stupid enough to waste wayyyyyy too much time and emotions on girls to get nothing in return, so I'm finished. The ones I've dealt with only seem good for sex and intimacy, and are otherwise a huge chore to deal with

  • But why is it so difficult to you? I am not good looking, but i still get girls, i don't have a good job but i still do, but what do i do to get them? I just talk to them like if they were guys, and we become friends first, i don't try to ask them out the first time i talk to them

    • Well sometimes I have a difficult time getting the courage to tell them I like them/finding the right words. Back in high school I was a chubby kid, and the more attractive girls straight up laughed at me. I did a lot of running and exercised later in high school and am super thin now though (5'11 150). I'm still scarred because girls in college aren't much more mature. I have friends who are girls and are all in relationships (of course), so I don't really know why it's difficult. Maybe deep down I really don't want a relationship because of how girls have treated me and I simply don't trust them on an intimate level

    • Turn up that ego man, worry less, live more, at the end of the day we all gonna die ;)

  • Giving up is the easy way to go. At least you have no one else to blame but yourself at this point.