How can I build up my confidence?

I'm just looking for some tips on how I can feel better in my own skin. I find myself comparing my looks/personality to other girls who I think are better than me. I'm black and I'm surrounded mostly by white students, not sure if this has anything to do with it... But my confidence has dropped since I started middle school and I'm hoping to raise it back up as I enter 8th grade. Thanks 😊


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't mean to be offensive, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but why would you compare yourself to the others, that are white? I don't mean this to be in any way a NEGATIVE racial thing, but if you are black (gods, I hate that, and that we still see skin color!! But our society does, so let's work with it!!)
    You ABSOLUTELY CANNOT, compare yourself to the White girls, and you shouldn't want to!! They are who they are, and you are EXTRA SPECIAL UNIQUE, being the one, among so many that are the same!!
    Take some time, and google Rosa Parks, Malcom X, Martin Luther King Jr, and maybe some like Oprah, and ground yourself in YOU and your heritage!!
    Build your own personal confidence, knowing about these people that came before you, and respect them, and respect yourself!!
    Skin color shouldn't matter, but as long as it does, and people still see 'that', you need to be confident in THAT SKIN, and RESPECT YOURSELF, and all those that fought, before you!!
    Racism will only end when we stop seeing skin color, and start seeing the person!! Be the PERSON they see, and know that there were a lot of GREAT people that would be right beside you, encouraging you, in anything that you do!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Its difficult to not compare yourself to someone else, even if its the conventional advice for this. Its even more difficult to constructively compare yourself to others, but can do a great deal of help. It might take you asking yourself "why do I compare myself to this person?" "What do I think this person has that I don't?" If you envy another girl because of her style, then you could try emulating it. I'm not saying the answer is copy other people, but trying out new things like that can help you find new things that can improve your confidence, or show how tedious and not worth it some things are to emulate (perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect eyebrows, who has the time for that?). And at the end of the day, even if it is a bit negative, you could always ask "What do I have that they don't" Because the chances are that someone is comparing themselves to you, and wants to be just as pretty as you are. :) I hope this helps, middle school sucks.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think find something u are good at and run with it. I say get a hobby. I say know u are a star and unique in your own way. Do not compare yourself to others just be happy with yourself by focusing o your good traits not everyone else's.

  • Ooh girl, for starters please STOP comparing yourself that will not help at all. You are you, and can only be you. You're about to go into 8th grade? Goodness, when I remember my confidence was rock bottom. That's because I was quiet & reserved, so people liked to talk shit about me and it made me feel like crap. After I started high school it was like a breath of fresh air. I started to find my confidence by not wishing, and working for it instead. I'm still not as confident as I would like to be, but I know eventually I will get there! Fix your hair up, put together some cute outfits, do whatever makes you feel happiest! Surround yourself with positive people. It's 2016, I would hope you weren't feeling down because you're surrounded by white people I'm sure they don't see you any less.