A dilemma of masculinity: When a man feels inadequately masculine - I'm starting to feel incredibly insecure, what do I do?

I don't know guysngirls. I've been extremely depressed for a very long time, this thought has been in the back of my head for probably multiple years. Here's my dilemma: I feel so uncomfortably feminine. I'm a 20 year old 5'9'' guy, and I'm not the most manliest looking man, but not so boyish either, but I probably look like a 17 year old.

Since being a kid I've always envisioned myself being masculine and tall, and my personality has been revolving around this dream. I used to buy oversized clothes when I was 15 and 16, because I thought I would grow up to be 6'1'' or 6'2''. I always idolized athletes and tried to be muscular and athletically built. I always wanted to be a foot to some inches taller than a girl. I wanted to be all of these so that I felt like I would be able to be a dependable and a protective person. I wanted to be able to be tall and strong that I could protect my girlfriend so that she would feel safe around me, and that when I have kids they would feel safe around me also.

But now it's gone all down the drain. I feel incredibly insecure and extremely inferior to other guys that are taller than me. I feel like I'm not able to perform the role of a man. I feel embarrassed to talk to some girls, because they are taller than me! Some with heels, some without heels. I hate it, to have to tell my tinder date to not wear heels. It makes me feel so pathetic. I'm jealous of taller guys. Because they are able to let their girls walk in heels, they can build a muscular body and protect their loved ones.

I've been working out during the last couple of years or so. So I have a pretty lean body. But now I'm starting to feel discouraged from hitting the gym. I can only guess, that what I've been feeling, is similar to what transgendered people have felt during some time of their lives. I feel incredibly uncomfortable in my own body being short. And there's nothing I can do about it. There's no drug to growing taller.

Just a poll out of curiosity.

Also I hate being hit on by men. Like wtf, I'm not gay. I feel like I get hit on by some random guy more often than I get compliments from chicks.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • 5'9" isn't short. Out of my close friends my husband is the only one of the 11 guys in the group that is over 5'10".


What Guys Said 1

  • Dude don't pay attention to what is "masculine " or not. You can't compare yourself to anyone else so just be you. Okay!