How to counter a fear of trust and overcome skepticism?

I need others advice. In my quest to conquer all my fears and address my emotions about certain events that have happened in my life I still have a fear of trust and skepticism towards finding my first, "special someone". Yes I've never had a girlfriend, kissed bla bla bla all I have are my memories of girls telling me I'm a loser and what not. These memories keep replaying in my head when I try to think about what kind of girl I would like in the future. My mind keeps telling me I'm not good enough and I feel like if I did meet someone I would run them away with not trusting them. How do tackle these thoughts? If you have a question ask me and thank you :-)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Thanks for A2A!

    You see, fear is a vital part of our life. It is a necessary evil. People can't jump in swimming pool or cannot look down from a building because they fear death. This is important because without it, we'd jump and risk our life. It keeps us in limits.

    Trusting someone is a difficult task, befriending isn't. Don't fear to befriend a lot of people. This will help you to learn a lot and get you a lot of experience and memories. Your friends will support you (but don't expect them to save your life because it is a "blind trust"), they'll help you to get better. Overtime, you'll start realizing the importance of specific people in your life and how you should interact with them.

    The first step is, however, to ameliorate yourself. If you think you're not good enough, you're the worst person on this planet and are just wasting oxygen and personally, I don't believe such people exist. You CAN make yourself better. And what if you already ARE a great person who "trusted" idiots who called you a loser? How dare you to "trust" them and not that "special one"?

    You're just 17. When I was your age, I've never had close female friend, let alone a girlfriend. By the time I turned 18 I started interacting with girls more confidently and openly. Realise one thing, if she says "no", you have nothing to lose, you already had a "no" if you didn't try, but if you will try, it'd turn into a "yes". You're still young. This is not a age to marry and get settled, this is your time to explore. I'm not telling you to fuck around, but don't be so remorseful over failures. You'll fail a lot. This is an age to fail. People will break your trust, people will make you feel special. The world is not so simple.

    If she broke your trust, she was never your "special someone" in the first place. Try again, there are billions of girls.

    The only thing you have to do is to value your time. Build a career, earn money, be respectful to others, be healthy and love your life. Heck anyone would dare to break the trust of such person.

    Good luck! :)


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think your first step, is self appreciation. I'm in the same boat. You've got to put the love you have for yourself before all. You've got to know what your greatest power is, and that's being you. "I want someone to share me, with me" -Eartha Kitt. You've got to find someone who can share the fact that you love yourself. Find what you like in yourself. I challenge to find things you like about your personality before you appearance, things you didn't think about for. Your personality. Then once you've on from that, don't stand at your mirror and list a single thing you don't like. You've got to love yourself before you can love anybody else. If you aren't happy out of a relationship, you won't be happy in one.

  • well first of all you can't live in fear what you need to do is A- keep an open mind but also show the girls that you can be everything that they want you to be for them but above all make sure you are still yourself!


What Guys Said 1

  • I am the same way , I'm a little shy and reserved.
    My friend has helped me with that as well as my co workers.
    You need to assert yourself and be confident , be proud of yourself and show it.
    Stand up tall and smile taking a stand for yourself , put yourself out there.