What does it mean do be strong? And what does it mean to judge?

I replied to someone in this group at a post of being sexual assaulted telling her with all the respect that she is not a virgin anymore (she questioned it), and that this is not a problem, that it doesn't matter. She told me that I can't judge her and blocked me. This was my reply "With all the respect, what does it mean to be a virgin? In the dictionary is like this:virgin=a person who has never had sexual intercourse. You had, even tho it was not willing. And I told you that this is not a problem, there is no real human who can blame you for this. But in everyones eyes, you are not a virgin anymore, and the best thing you should do is accept it. There are 2 years difference between me an you, and believe me, I am smarter than you so don't ever tell me that I don't know shit. I understand your pain, but i don't respect it, there is nothing to respect in someones pain because they are fueling it. Let me tell you something about pain. When I was 15 years old I found my granddad hanged in the middle of the night, and I was the one to take him down from the rope, did it hurt? Hell yes!!! Did it mattered 3 days latter? Hell no!!! I managed to pass it, for me someone clinging to the past is weak and is doing harm to himself."She also told me that she is bigger than me and smarter, I'm 17 and she is 19. Someone else told me that I can't judge, in the moment I told her just that she isn't a virgin anymore. If I tell a black person that he is black, in your opinion, is that a judgment?


What Girls Said 2

  • What you said and how you said it considering the situation was tactless, tacky, and fowl. Some situations are very delicate and if you don’t have the emotional intelligence to respond accordingly then you should keep your mouth closed. You trying to make the situation all about you, your feelings, your experiences, and what you saw with your grandpa is just essentially extremely self-absorbed, self-centered, and indicative that you’re the last person someone should go to if they’re having a legitimate moment of vulnerability.

    • ^ this. I was going to post something similar but don't need to now.

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    • Your mother may have to put up with your insufferable arrogance, whiny begging for validation and a pat on the back, and your disgusting disrespect but I sure as hell don't.

      The rape victim was right: your child mind does not belong at a discussion with adults.

    • From this moment on, you can hush child. I will not tolerate being insulted because you can't handle not being validated. Your mouth was clearly worthless and of zero value on the other posts just as it is on mine.

  • Really? You made a post about this? This is the whole reason sexual abuse victims dont want to come forward. You should be ashamed.

    • Why? What would you want me to tell her? "Yes, you are still a virgin, that monster can't take that from you." You know what this would do? Nothing, you are not helping, you just tell her what she wants to her, as every other person she talked with before you, you are keeping her in her comfort zone, with that pain still being in her. No, she must accept it as the thing it is, and realize it's not that big of a problem, that no one will blame her, or mock her. I made this post because I didn't had the possibility to defend myself when she attacked me.

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    • The hard truth is you saying I'm not a virgin makes me want to sink into a bottomles pit of depression more. The hard truth is your words make me suicidal and your constant defending of your stance makes me feel worthless. That is the hard truth.

    • Oh trust me, I know the feeling, but life is so beautiful and you have no reason to not love it anymore, there are so many wonderful things you can do. https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome This is a site for people with depression, if you need any help from people with depression and from professionals try it. I know the depression is a nasty thing, but if you keep lying yourself you will not move to the next stage (I did it and it got me nowhere, although I'am relatively young). Can I ask you a question? Don't feel obligated to ask. Why is virginity such an important thing for you? Is it because it was taken from you? Or it is something important in your society?

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