Is it possible that my own behaviour caused this whole thing?

Okay so this guy in one of my classes looked pleasantly surprised to see me. I was sort of depressed I think. The fact that *someone* was happy to see me was a huge ego booster.

I knew he was looking for a group as he raised it up in class and was looking around (and at me). Before leaving he turned around to talk to me and I ignored him looking at my phone.

ALL kinds of confusion on my end followed when he started acting rude, implied he didn't want to be in my group etc. Now I feel.. maybe he wanted to talk that day to ASK if I wanted to be in a group?

Did I totally misunderstand the situation


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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe he was mad because you ignored him. I sure would be if I was talking to a person and they're just sitting there all chill, acting like I don't exist

    • No he didn't talk to me.

      I could tell he wanted to, why else would he briefly stop right in front of me.

      Then he went away.

      The thing is, I thought he just wanted to talk but now I feel like he might have wanted to talk to specifically ask me if I wanted to be in a group.

      So it might not have been he didn't think I was smart, he might have just thought well she ignored me that time so I am not asking her outright about it.

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    • That's true but do you think it's likely that's what he wanted to bring up? The group thing?

    • That probably is what he wanted to bring up seeing that you've never really talked before. He might've wanted to get to know you more or something.

What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah I mean ignoring the dude is pretty rude when he asked you something

    • Noo I didn't talk to him.

      Okay he was sitting in front of me, and then that class the prof had asked if anyone was looking for a group. He raised his hand and we made eye contact as I was too.

      Before going he turned around to face me, and I was fiddling with my phone.

      I thought he just wanted to say hi or something but now I feel as though he wanted to ask if I needed a group.

      That's why later on he was so mad and defensive about the group thing. Because he didn't want it to look as though he's dying to be in my group when I sort of ignored him

  • Yes.

    • I didn't really say anything though all I did was not look up when I could feel him watching me.

      Isn't it a bit exaggerated on his end to act out like this

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    • Moreover, since that day he just acts like he hates me.

      It almost made me wonder if he thinks I'm sticking to him or something and like desperate to have him in my group.

    • Try and see things from his perspective. He needed a group and knew you were available and made it obvious he wanted to group with you. You ignore him and give him the cold shoulder when he did nothing to deserve it. Then you send out an email to everyone looking for a group after you blew him off. Regardless of your public implications, you made it clear that you didn't want to be bothered with him personally to his face. It's like saying you want to group with anyone BUT him. After reading that I'd be steaming mad too.