please I beg to read it fully. I am fed up of this life. Any reply will be appreciated... please please plz?

Ok i am 19 year old introverted person who never had any friend or even girlfriend in my life. i hate to say but i am just too introverted to care much about anyone. [i know being introverted is not equal to being lonely forever. but both statements are independent of each other in my case]. SO i just hate small talks, kinda have ego issues , get repelled by almost everybody who tries to or hurts ego. i also have trust issues. I get distracted easily and think too much even on something thats not even important. There has never been anyone who stayed my friend for more then 3 weeks and thing is that everybody hates me and avoid eye contact with me bcoz of my attitude. I kinda stay at hostel and have single room where nobody comes. its like some dark go down where i am the only one. My attitude and thinking has become like i dont want to talk to anybody and hardly help anyone who approaches me. bocz i dont like people who would come to me only if they need anything from me. I dont know how do i talk to people. I cried every fucking day thinking how sad is that to stay alone like forever as even ugliest and most boring people also have friends but me. I think no ones gonna cre if i die, then whats the point in liveing. I have been staying here for like 2 years and have to stay for 2 more year.[i survived without any friends].. And these days people have started to ignore me when i need some help. Even if i talk to anybody they just here it at ignore... only if i speak 3-4 times they respond with single ''hmm' or any other one word reply which eventually hurts my ego. I can't even involve my parents in it bcoz then they would feel sad too. Its like i literally feel like stone.

I even cried in front of my so-called-friend [who is worst of them all]... but then it backfired on me... he said that i be like too selfish and no ones gonna help me if i remain like this, also he said not to talk to him hereafter and made it viral that i cried like a little girl... I just wanna pass away this life... Is there anything that could be done..


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you want someone to be friends with you and care about you, you gotta show the same to them. Friendship is not a one way thing. It's gotta go both ways. And from the sounds of it, you have done nothing to show that you are approachable are that you even give a shit about anybody. As soon as you change your attitude about others, they will change theirs about you.

    • well thats simple and sweet but... its like its been 2 years like this... and if i suddnely change people are gonna question... and inspite of that i tried approaching them differently but then eventually they gave lame excuses to repel me...

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    • why are you saying hostel as if it's a prison? a hostel is where you just sleep basically. Aren't you out of the hostel for most of the day?

    • yeah right... i be out of hostel... but the reason i am focusing on that word is... some might think i stay at home and they will ask me to discuss this stuff with my parents,,,,... and my point is i dnt want my parents to know about my problems and worry.. as acc to me experiance , they are like way much emotional and would leave all their important work and would come to see me... i just dont wanna bother thm

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm in a similar boat.

    Just stop giving a shit about people and live for yourself because if you don't put yourself first then NOBODY else will. Sure we don't have girlfriends... but man who needs em? Save your time and money, be productive, and improve your life situation. You may be alone but YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS.

    I won't blame you for quitting, but I look forward to what my life will be like in the future. Lots of money for whatever I want & zero debt.


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What Girls Said 19

  • I am very Familiar with the "Introvert" deal, @abhiplayer1996, I have a Relative in my own family, whom I even Resided with while living in New York for awhile, who is Now... Very Alone and Living a sheltered Life Alone, you could Say as of Today.
    Of course it is never Easy to be this Introvert, and with Him, his friends Included Strictly people from his Church mainly and his parents. He lived in a world that was almost like his own little Non Trouble Bubble, and this is how he preferred it, always thinking that he knew Better than Anyone with Everything.
    The day his parents passed away, he was left Alone to Fend for himself. Never having to Deal with anything alone, such as Living Alone, he made a lot Wrong decisions, the Genius that he was, it Ended him up in the Hospital because he never did the Right thing in his life, which has Now put him where he is Right now.
    I believe that as Wise as I am, I tend to be a bit Intelligent as well, and I can Tell you that if you don't Reach out to Someone for Some help, you may End up going Down a very bad Path to Destruction.
    You are Way too Good for this, so please, talk to Someone who can Guide you in the right Direction. You may think I am Cruel but in fact I am being Honest and Caring, and just Want the Best from the Rest for you.
    It's not going to get better, this goes way beyond "Introvert," so please, Help yourself with this One, hun.
    Good luck and Also, God is another Guide. xx

    • well thank you so much... i read your opinion and i felt like really good. It really showed your kinda and helpful character... I feel so blessed to get advised from you... I mean seriously you have perfect point... but the problem is whenever i would try to be good to others it looks weird and in the end they hate me bcoz of my attitude... I feel like i dont really fix into this generation.

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    • well i could not send you yet

    • Oh, I only Accept Follows but I think you could have pushed Follow. lolxxoo

  • I sometimes overthink things and feel lonely too as sometimes other people in my life are busy to make time for me or I just avoid being downstairs since it feels like my Dad gets mad at me for everything I do.

    Our situations seem to differ though as they appear to be for different reasons. I can understand what your friend was saying though perhaps he could have worded it in a nicer way. He is right though - How can you expect others to help you if you are never willing to help them?

    You say you don't like when people only go to you when they need your help, so it's a bit unfair to only go to other people when you need their help.

    You do seem very sensitive about your ego getting damaged, perhaps you can look up some tips on having tougher skin about things.

    If your attitude is keeping you from having long lasting relationships and you are finding it difficult to change, maybe you could try seeking some professional help such as a therapist or talking to a doctor for advice.

    It sounds like you don't like being lonely (I don't think anyone does) but if you say you don't care much about anyone and that you don't even attempt small talk, how can you expect others to care for you?

    I know small talk can be annoying but it's how you start of getting to know people - maybe next time you're at work or college or whatever, you could try just saying hi to people and asking how they are/how their weekend was. Perhaps tell them about a new show you've been watching and ask if they've seen it to see if you can find any common interests.

    It will help if you try being a bit more friendlier and empathetic to people too. It's a bit mean to say something like you were "thinking of how sad it is to stay alone like forever as even ugliest and most boring people have friends"

    Well those "ugly" and "boring" people might actually be very nice people and make great friends, plus just because you find them ugly and/or boring it doesn't mean everyone thinks that about them. Besides, you wouldn't like it being said about you.

    My advice would be to try and lighten up a bit, perhaps seek some professional help, try being a bit friendlier to people and going through a bit of small talk to make an effort to get to know the person - who knows? They might end up being pretty cool and you could become good friends with them.

    • Wow... that was kinda tohughtful... i mean i like the way got all my problems and you correctly pinpointed all my flaws... first of all as you said i tried talking to be nice and charming to attract people but u know we guys have been here for like 2 years and everybody has started looking at me in the same waay and some douchbags spreading a bad word about me has made everybody hate me... I mean i tried being nice and everything but.. most of them make some looks to each other as soon as i enter the room and when i ask some question nobody says a shit until i ask it for like 3 times or so,,,,,, now u know what i am saying? i mean this is kinda reply that i get these days... and as i said i stay at hostel in a sngle room where no one cares to come and talk to me... i mean its true that i am kinda introverted and hate small talks but its not that i wanna die alone..

      well you got me correctly... why would people respect and help me when i am the one who is being a dick to others

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    • I would disagree with that, I think it's good for anyone to apologize if they know they're in the wrong - male or female. It shows maturity.

      Imagine if that guy spreading bad things about you suddenly stopped, realised he was in the wrong and apologized to you: Would you think he was being a pussy, or would you like and respect him a bit more?

      What if he just carries on like he is and never says sorry to you: Would you respect him or would you think he is a massive jerk and continue to dislike him?

      People always appeal to me and earn my respect a little more when they apologize to someone when they know they're in the wrong - whether they're male or female I think it is a mature and respectful thing to do when needed.

    • What u Say is 100%true and i agree with you for sure... But there are different people with different personality or so called thinking... Especially people here... Where i live... It s too depressing to know that...

  • I read what you said. First off, forget about that idiot that made you seem like a "baby girl". You're human too, you can cry as well. Sometimes crying makes you feel better and that isn't anything to be ashamed of. As for the other things, i think you answered your own question. You need to change in order for people to be wanting to approach you. Forget about the girlfriend thing for a sec. Lets focus on friends. "My attitude and thinking has become like i dont want to talk to anybody and hardly help anyone who approaches me." that's wrong. I understand that you don't like it when people come only for help but when you have an attitude and moreover when they ask for help you don't help them, then its gonna be hard to make people want to have some time with you. You should try to be more friendly to others, help, smile when they talk to you, don't give them a "scary look" whenever they will come to approach you. Try to list all the things you dislike about yourself and change them one by one! Like that you can have a fresh start with other people and most importantly yourself!! And by the way, its important to leave the "toxic" people in your life coz they will only make things worse! I hope i helped 😁

    • well i really appreciate your response.. of course you help dear... and you are right... but wait let me tell you the whole situation right now... ok so i m in my 3rd year btech from india and stay at hostel in single room [maybe bcoz i am an introvert].. i have stayed alone for like 2 years and there's 2 more years to go...[4 year course]... and right now we are supposed to make group and do some group projects in order to get placed in a good compony... and as you can see... i have no friend... i have tried approaching some guys who readily drived me away with lame excuses which hurt my ego [i am kinda egoistic]... They dont respect me and see me as a idiot who would be nice even if they hurt me or make fun of me. and thats not how i am... maybe that the reason i dont help these people who act fake to me only when they need something from me...

    • also here its been 2 years so almost everybody knows each others. and its like people know me as aselfish bastard [whereas i am myself an introvert who is shy and afraid of rejection.]but the worst part is society has rejected me... i feel to bad for myself... if noone involves me with them i would neevr get job which wil affect my whole resume and will in turn make me a loser in life... i dont see anything that could be done... and of course i dont wanna involve my parents,,,,,

    • Listen to me, in some point of my life I've been through something similar... i was made fun of by my-so-called- friends. People thought I'm a naive girl, a girl thats too nice no matter what they do to me. I always used to spend my break times alone (when its first day at school and sometimes for a week or so). It was my fault. Not because I've been made fun of. But because I let those people make fun of me. I didn't show them the other side of me and I decided to end that by myself coz if not then it will never end. I started to go by my own and talk with people, ask them anything, open any conversation, etc. And things slowly started to get better. You should do the same!

  • Okay I think it all starts from within.

    First of all forget everyone else; including your so called fake friends, so what if they chat shit let them.

    Now what you need to focus on is yourself. Why do you feel the need of others to make you happy? Is there parts of your own life you're not happy with? I always think and practise "do what makes you happy" and by yourself, don't have any inhibitions towards people or things you want to do - by doing this people will attract to you themselves - because you will shine with happiness :)

    I think one of your problems is that you think too much?
    If I'm right, then stop overthinking... don't even think lol act on impulse (and thats the true person you are when you act on impulse)

    • well you got me there. I do overthink... which is root of the problem maybe... but I don't know i try to distract myself but find it difficult

    • I know it's hard, but when you see yourself thinking too deeply, just say to yourself "not now, later" and then go back to those thoughts later when they are not in the way of your life.

  • You're describing signs of depression and deep insecurity, which has nothing to do with introvert or extrovert personalities. I suggest talking to someone just to explore your past and discover why you have self-esteem issues and why you feel uncomfortable making social connections, which is common with people who don't feel "worthy" of having or forming relationships.

  • I can see that you're really sad and desperate. It's okay, everyone goes through though times. You will be okay, I'm sure.
    I think you need to sit down and think about what's wrong in your life. What's preventing you from being happy and having friends. What do you need to change.
    Then you can think about solutions. Take small steps, believe in yourself.
    Forget about what people said to you. Stay away from this fake friend, he doesn't care about you.
    You're not okay and you're lonely, so if you want to have a better life, you need to change your attitude.
    I know it's easier said than done, but you're the only one who can do something for yourself.
    Stay strong and don't give up. I'm sure everything is gonna be alright :)

  • Search for God, he cares for you. Read self help books read boundaries, read how to make friends, read everything.

    • yeah i see your point but.. right now i dont even have time to read and improve... bcoz of our 3rd and final year of enginneering... if i had true friends my life could be way much different... thats the reason i asked it on gag... i am sorry if that sounded offensive

  • Hey! Sorry for replying so late. Im so sorry you feel this way. It's very draining and you feel stuck and confused. Your life is very important. Don't let anyone define your worth fullness you have to find out yourself. And it's going to take a while but when you do it's going to be the most amazing thing youve ever accomplished. Get rid of all your Debbie downer friends. Find something you love and do it. It's okay to be introverted there is nothing wrong with that but just balance it out. Meaning go out to a place you're comfortable with and have a couple of friends tag along with you. Baby steps. You'll be fine trust me. Better then fine. You'll be great.!! the most saddest part in life is when you give up. So don't give up. Get up and do it again. If you fail so what. Do it again.

  • Well you kind of are being selfish. You ignore people, stop trying to be their friend after three weeks and live somewhere so no one can talk to you. Just because you're an introvert doesn't mean you can't have normal human relationships. You just refuse to care about them. If you don't like something, change it. People don't care about you because you've out zero effort into them.

    • well sadly it sounds like me ,,,, i am not proud of it... i just feel like thats the way i am... how can i fix it

  • Try being more friendly say Hello to neighbors. You have to start trusting or you'll never have friends, good ones at least.

    I don't know what happened to you but you have to let go of the past and think positive. The ego thing is crap because it means that you care what people think of you and you shouldn't! Everyone has different opinions so you can't please everyone and you dont need their approval.

    In the meantime try getting out and volunteering or joining a club where you can interact with people. Or go to church, synagogue, etc

  • You are clearly in a negative spiral that will push you deeper if you don't react. You need professional help to tackle the real cause of your problem and slowly put you back on track.

    • well then how do u think will i out my life back together.. bcoz there's so way i could leave hostel
      ... also i dont wanna involve my parents.. i jjust make them think that i am happy here. but its like too much for me now. I mean people do group projects here but me being alone forver.. noones gonna involve me... I don't know what to do

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    • Taking professional help does not mean you have to involve your parents. Its something between you and the therapist. And where your hostel is, there will also be therapists.

    • yeah i mean i will have to travel for couple of hours and also searching it online might take some time... and i really dont know the place here... i mean my hostel is like 4000km from my home so i dont really go out to much... It will take a while to explore around here.. and as i said i already have study presurre... so i thought that it will be easier to get some advice online...

  • Seems like you have been doing so many things in your life to keep people away from you, and now that you feel lonely and want company and friends, it suddenly becomes more difficult for you to have friends.
    Which I understand.
    From other people's point of view, you have been a person hard to approach, and you most likely have an attitude that makes people go away if they do get in your life.
    But you have to think that getting friends require that you give as well as receive. The ego is something you have to work with.

    You sound like you might even be very difficult to approach and maybe to get along with as well.
    The negativity might make it difficult.

    You have to get out of your bad circle of mentality.
    Be open to people, smile and let them in on your life.
    Show that you are interested, that you care about others.

    • well that was precisely like me.. i appreciate your help... I got your point... but i tried to work on it... but my problem is.. that i can't work on my ego... thats what is killing me

  • Until U really want to change, nothing and no-one can help you.

  • Just try being a nicer person, using the excuse that people would be suspicious of the change is just that - an excuse.

    Stop being a mean person, try harder with people. You don't get much in this life for free, you have to work for it. You don't sound like you want to bother trying, do you expect other people to change and start liking you even though you admit to not being a nice person?

    • ok that was sad truth about my life.. i kinda dont mingle with most of the poeple... i feel like being alone is kinda good... which is not always a better option... well i dont really have that enthuciasm to go out there and talk to fake people... who jus pretend to be nicer.. even if they critisiz at the back... somewhat like backstabbers... I don't know how to make thiings fine

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    • well you got me there... but i kinda have a thing that i always think that people should always respect me and never make fun of me... which doesn't happen always and it kinda touches my ego and in turn i feel bad and eventually start ignoreing that person like forever... maybe thats what making people find me difficult to handle and they in turn leave me forever...

    • Yes, being so sensitive won't generally make you friends. Learning a bit of humility can be a good thing. You don't sound like you have much of a sense of humour. I'll be honest, you don't seem to have any redeeming features.

      What is nice, likeable about you?

  • Aw bb, it's okay but know that change is hard and you have to be insistent. When you hurt someone you have to say sorry. No ones likes to be around a meanie booboo. And slowly try to be nice to others. Let people kno you don't mean to hurt them, if not at least try to ask about their day simple things like that. You can't start of with giving them some kind of baked food saying sorry for the mean things, Im just bad with words. I don't know if its cringe I'd do that as the person I am. Good luck!

    • yeah true that... i will take care about it next time... I would try to be nicer... thanks

  • It sounds like you're pushing people away. And if you continue down this road you will become extremely depressed.

  • It's ok, you will get real friends, and a girlfriend, eventually. 😊

    • no i won't. i mean u didn't understand my question. its me thats the problem. even if i get friend with them i eventually act or say something or unknowingly ignore them which makes them think i am an asshole... but i am too afraid from inside. i had this one friends who backfired me and started making fun of me... i life sucks... i am just soo soo soo soo sad... i hate myself

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    • I didn't say fake yourself... lol
      Talk about things that you all like.

    • ok so there only one thing that they like and i dont.. that is mkaing frinds and being fake... whch is what making me differnt... i really do hate people judgingg me

  • 🙄 the drama lol


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What Guys Said 4

  • Firstly id give you a bit of advice in a saying thats true, no matter what tomorrow is another day thats always different! nothing bad about being introvert at all im the same in many ways and was angry about it in my younger days looking back. but the key is to learn yourself and get comfortable with you, i spent years worrying about others opinions etc and never got to know myself at all so just went round in circles! its hard and i know exactly how you feel but dont beat yourself up or force issues at all just take your time and concentrate on you, it might take ages it did with me but actually you will find you have a better understanding than most others when you hit 30 plus mate! trust me I've been there! good luck

  • I am sorry to hear that.
    I think you should take a break and visit home (my personal opinion) It might help.
    "You are studying for life, your life is not for studying"... Leave everything immediately that disappoints you and take some rest.

    Remember todays world is more about being cool than being a human... your friend did that just for fun and laughs without caring about how much would it feel to cry like a child out of depression. Its a fake world with fake people and a fake era (or maybe it was like this forever).
    People these days can throw you to valleys of depression and shame just for their sake of temporary impression they have..."of being cool". It happens all the time... no one notices.
    Just notice the "jokes" around you. Most or all of them will be insulting some one in some way... or else people dont find them humorous enough.

    • well thats a sad truth... people in todays generation are really fake, so-called-cool, etc... but wtf... if they dont really have feelings... or appreciate others feelings it s like fucked up world... I mean it... I have really started feeling that this friend of mine was never a reall friend as i always had a doubt that he makes fun of... and critisises me on a regular basis...

    • A friend is one who wipes tears not the one who causes them...

    • yeah right... but I don't know he thinks that he is very smart and i am dumb person who has no friends so he could manipulate me all he wants and makes fun of me to act cool among other popular kids..

  • Yeah, that's not unusual, they used to call it teen angst. Get some help you may just have an anxiety disorder which if treated is life changing. No shit, a little blue pill (Valium?)

    • can you tell me someplace where i can get help online... i mean you see i have been too busy these days and stay at hostel so its like not possible for me to go out in search of and treatment... also i am doing engineering so i hope you understand my study pressure and stuff

    • I understand completely, I'm an EE. But these are controlled substance and you can't get them online from US source and from India they're hundreds. I pay less tha $10 for 90. You got to make the time, you'll be amazed at how you'll fell and your perspective will. Change. Take the time to do something important for yourself

  • You need therapy.

    Too much of what you're talking about, simply isn't real. Like the feeling that everyone around you hates you. They don't. They just don't care about you one way or another. But you're convinced they hate you.

    That's a sign of the mental illness you're suffering from. A clear symptom. You need professional help.

    The strange thing about mental problems is that we rely on our brains to tell us when something is physically wrong. But it can't tell us when something is mentally wrong. Most mentally ill people don't think there is anything wrong with them, and can actively resist getting help.

    Just like a physical infection can fight your bodies defences, mental illness can resist your efforts to cure it. And it does this by making you feel like going to therapy would be a waste of time.

    Resist that feeling, and go.

    • well you might be right... maybe i am convinced that way... but what now? eventually i feel like a loser... but i really dnt think i could be mentally ill. i menan i do all other stuff okay... but i have issuse with friends and relationships... could that make me mentally challenged in any way?

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    • He's right, the people around you don't hate you. They just don't care about you.

    • @ayylamo Thanks but he's shown he simply isn't ready to believe that.