Being a man, in my late 30's, I've come to an interesting conclusion.
The conclusion, however had to be examined and verified, from actual context, based on my life's experience, compared to observations of other people. A secondary conclusion is drawn. Essentially, I am conflicted, and a confirmation bias has been noted.
First let me warn you... I am extremely jaded and cynical.
I have a fundamental belief that love does not exist, and is a convenient excuse for mutual utility. I've come to this conclusion by anecdote, and by observed behavior of couples. I've noted a correlation between activities of couples, and by my experiences while dating. While I've been deeply infatuated by 2 past relationships out of my total of 8, the other 6 were merely instances of minor attraction, and mutual opportunism. I examined this, and asked... "Was there anything resembling what people claim to be love, in any of the instances?". To that, my answer was "No".
I stuck with it, and believed my conclusion.
That conclusion has been drawn, 3 years ago, following 2 years after my last breakup.
Recently, I've reexamined my position. Perhaps my lack of belief in "true love" is the result of not actually experiencing it, and I've drawn my conclusion, based on a cynical bias against emotional concepts. To be honest, I'm not the most emotional person, and many who know me personally, view me as being rather cold and aloof. They also view me as being extremely adherent to logic, and dismissive of emotions. To me, there always has to be a logical point, for everything. Even, my personal feelings don't matter to me, if there is an objective, and if it serves a beneficial purpose. Even if I don't like the necessary action. It doesn't matter to me, how I feel about it, if it has to be done. So, I do a lot of things I don't like, only because they were necessary. I realize a bias. I don't believe in it, not experiencing it.
Is belief possible?
Most Helpful Girl
Love exsist I assure you.
Depends also what one consideres love, define love... but let's put that aside.
I think infatuation is one thing okay... when that is gone all you have is real person. So the person that is real you choose to love. Infatutaion is not a choice, it's only faundation, but love is. infatuation is important but more important is real person, if you cannot eve be frinds with the real person, obviously it will fall apart. Faundation for love is also friendship. There are many kinds of love too, but we talk about romantic one. I once loved a guy, I could have loved him forver if he hasn't broke my heart... I've been infatuated but I could see him clearly and I still liked him with all his flaws and virtues...0
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Most Helpful Guy
Love is imagination land. It's building hopes and fantasies and dreams around some person.
A perfectly rational being would not be capable of falling in love because he would only see practical utility. He would only think things like, "This woman is good for me because she has child-bearing hips and will help me when I am sick."
To love requires a dreamer type. People who dream easily fall in love easily, maybe even at first sight. In that case they're "love" is completely divorced from experience and reality.
Others might require something a lot more substantial to cause them to build those hopes and dreams, like romantic gestures or even sex. In those cases their love is still fantasy land built on hopes and dreams of being together forever, but it's a little more grounded in reality and actual experience.
And some might never build such hopes and dreams around a person ever.
It is rooted in practical sexual desire and biological programming, but it's the human fantasies and dreams and hopes and imagination that elevates it to love.1